Churches aren't just about listening to a man in a suit preach after singing 3 songs and throwing some prayer in there. Over my 19 years I've learned a lot from the various churches we churched hopped. I've been to approximately 8 churches over my 19 years and I have to say though I learned many lessons from the man in the pulpit, many of my lessons came from those in the seats. Here are some of them:
1. Be Christ like, not Church like
This lesson has come more recently in my walk with Christ. As I was heading into college I was faced with a major decision. Like most christian college students I had to decide was I going to continue that path of Christ follower or fall a prey to following the world. As I examined my choices and the devil whispered to me I realized something, I wasn't following Christ at all. Yes, I was a christian. Yes, I was saved. But I wasn't following Christ, I was following people who I thought were good christian kids. When I saw this I was appalled by my actions, especially the very unchristian like ones. Then I went off to school and began seeking God not because my family sought Him, but because I wanted to. I learned that lost people see when you are following Christ and when you are just simply following the Christians.
2A. Talk is Cheap
As I had stated before, I started reevaluating my life and where I wanted to go. This major step really happened after someone unknowingly convicted me of my actions. My best friend now, had mentioned to a friend about how much they adored me and how much my walk with Christ motivated them to be closer to God. While this girl was adoring me from a far, I was bashing her. I couldn't stand her and I let everyone know. She wasn't the only one that I nor my group of friends at the time did this to. We had a very good way of excluding people, bashing them and then acting like it was their fault for doing so. When I realized this I was so angry with myself. I couldn't believe that I allowed my character to stoup so low.
2B. If They Talk About Them, They'll Talk About You
I was extremely active in the church that I was previously attending. I did everything. My best friends went to my church and I found every excuse to be there. I loved everything about my church and I grew knowledge about Christ there. I discovered my calling to ministry there. I had so many "mamas" and best friends and people who looked out for me. I had women who cared deeply about my walk with Christ. Women who basically treated me like there own. I had best friends who I thought I'd never see go, best friends that I thought I'd have at my wedding and raise our children together with. Looking back now though it pains me. In the last few months I lost most of that. My family felt a very real calling in our lives to switch churches. We prayed persistently about moving to the current church we were attending. Every Sunday we got in the car after church and discussed how hard it was for us to leave a church that helped us grow so much as a family. A church that every Sunday pushed us to go further. In the end though we chose to follow God. In the months after that, my family and my new church family members have been called out for leaving a church that many of us so dearly loved for being disgruntled, losted, and various other false things. It didn't end there, but I realized this wasn't any different. I too had participated in the "Oh it's so sad that he's lost his way" conversations or the "You need to take better care at making sure she is included so she'll become closer to God" discussions. I sat and listened to them calling out many of other brothers and sisters in Christ. I realized that if they can talk about others in the faith, they'll most likely find a reason to discuss you.
3. There's Only One Church
Not only do I attend a church in my hometown with my family but I also attend various church functions in the city I attend school. I attend Fuse which is with Ignite Church, Uprise which is apart of Open Door Church and Integrity on Sunday mornings. I realized though it isn't about which building you attend on Sunday mornings, but one big church. The Bride. At college I meet many different people from various sectors of the Christian faith. I realized, I don't care what domination they associate with, my only concern is that they know Christ and that they follow Him and only Him. Over my 19 years, I've attended many churches that had thousands of members. It seems to me that we as a collective group of Christians strive to be mega churches. Somewhere in the midst of fancy instruments, large choirs, and the best programs, we've lost the community. We've lost developing relationships with others and diving a mile deep in others' walks. Instead we point out the flaws of other churches. How they are doing it wrong. When I attend non-denominational churches they made fun of the Baptist, when I attended Baptist churches they made fun of another group. I'm just as guilty at this as well. But the idea isn't who's better, because none of us are. We all fail in some aspect of churching [Yes, I believe I just made that word up], we all fail at telling the Gospel, but what we really fail at is putting ourselves more in a battle amongst one another instead of putting ourselves in battle against the world. As we sit here and viciously attack the church down the street, the world is snatching up our youth. As we sit here and maliciously talk about a brother and sister in Christ, another lost person dies and sent to spend eternity in hell. We aren't one church against a thousand other churches, we are one church against one lost world.
- Amanda
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Silly Saturday: How I Became the Perfect Child: Tattle Tailing Addition
Normally I post about the very profound things that float around in my brain generally late at night the night before a big test. As a little mental treat I decided to spice things up and tell you a story about my childhood. I apologize for the long title, but I feel this has many parts. As many of you may know I have a little brother named Sawyer. This is us:
However, this taught me nothing about how to be kinder to my brother. In fact the other day when I was spending time on Pinerest [The Norm], I stumbled upon a picture that encompassed my whole relationship growing with my brother. Behold the Punch-ApologizeSoIWon'tGetInTrouble-Hug maneuver:
Granted, I didn't always punch my brother, even though to this day he will flinch if I even motion towards him, but I would break him to the point of tears [Sorry Sawyer, but it wasn't that hard] then grasp him in my arms and hug him to tell him how much I loved him. I would then hold him at arms length and ask him if he was going to tell mom which he would willing agree not to.
Step 2: Become The Victim
As I stated before physical violence was very much apart of my brother and my relationship. Though he knows that the only girl he can hit was me. This known fact came about after he punch me and I, in a very loving way, pinned him off the ground and told him "IF I EVER HEAR YOU HIT ANOTHER GIRL, I WILL KILL YOU". I think he got the point but this however has nothing to do with becoming the victim. The victim consist of a three step actions that requires only a little bit of tears and a WHOLE lot of lying. Step 1: Hit the other person. Usually I recommend this to be after they have ticked you off and generally not in a situation where legal action will be the ending result. Step 2: Allow that person to hit you. Yes, I understand this is painful but look at the bigger outcome, you're a girl and it far larger offense if a boy hits you therefore they will get in trouble more. Step 3: Cry so hard that your mom only understands that you've been hurt by your brother. At this point my brother had no choice but to allow the punishment to be bestowed upon him. This doesn't always work, it really depends on mom.
Step 3: Take Advantage of Situations
This is probably THE worst thing I ever did as a sister and one day I'll apologize for it. [Sorry Dude]. But when Sawyer was young he went through a phase of lying. This phase was bad for him but a fabulous opportunity for me. Because I think it was very hard for my parents to accept that they had two liars on their hands, they chose to believe the one who lied last. Which was consequently me :). Many of times I would do something, then either A. Convinced Sawyer to do it with me or B. Set Sawyer up and when we got caught blame it entirely on him. This worked for years, until I realized how morally wrong it was.
However, since I realize how much of a horrible sister I look right now and how I am always one for looking at the bright side, here are some things that benefited my brother.
1. I created secrets between us
Not always did I pin things one him. Being that I was creative, I generally convinced him to do things with me that I knew, if we got caught, would get us in trouble, but I would set it up so mom never knew.
2. I'm still teaching him how to push mom just far enough
This is a work in progress, mainly because Sawyer doesn't realize when joking, isn't joking anymore and he's really ticked mama off. But I am teaching him to recognize the signs of irritation.
3. I give him advice on girls
I am not claiming to know everything about girls and I realize every girl is different. However, there are a few things he needs to know when it comes to dating girls. 1. Be friends with her first 2. When you feel like God is leading you [After a while of prayer] to date this girl, ask her parents. 3. Set ground rules and boundries in the relationship early on and DON'T FLIRT WITH THAT LINE. 4. Be chivalrous, open doors, pay for dinner etc. 5. Whether you are dating the girl or not, or whether you have the intentions of dating her or not, treat everyone better than you treat your sister.
Please don't get me wrong. I love my brother very much. His existence sometimes frustrates me and many times I look at my mom when we both feel like he is from another planet and I'll say "You just couldn't be content with one". However, if you ever get me passionatly talking about my brother I'd really jump over the moon for him. I am very proud of my brother. I realize he has this unfair label placed upon him by some people who cannot forgive his mistakes and move on, that he is a not so nice kid and various other things. Which he was, but God has worked wonders in him and daily I am reminded through him that we are all a work in progress. I honestly can say that I don't tell him enough how proud I am of the choices he is making. Yes, he is weird. Yes, he tends to talk to the dog in an annoying high pitch baby voice that makes me want to punch him in throat. But then he does things like text me out of the blue and tell me he misses me and for a brief moment I forget he's annoying and then he sends me 45 duck dynasty emojis and I remember. So Sawyer, I love you.
You're Welcome,
Amanda
P.S I am sorry mom for any grammatical or spelling errors.
We are approximately 3 years apart except from September- January when I am 4 years older than him. Being this close together has brought us many times like the photo above but sadly we generally find some humorous way to break down each others' psyche [Generally, I win]. Growing up we spent a lot of time giving my mom a near break down because in fact we were dysfunctional. As we get older, picking fights with one another has turned into a game of how long will it take for mom to freak out. We love her dearly. When we were younger we were the type of kids, though, to break out every piece of my Barbie collection, divide it evenly [OK, this only happened after about 8 year of figuring out we can't just jump into playing Barbies] just to decide that we hated each other for not wanting the same things for our Barbie's lives [Usually his "male Barbie" didn't love my girl Barbie]. However, this was not the highlight of my childhood fights with my brother. Which brings me to
Step 1: Manipulating the Other Child
My mom use to [in an unusual punishment sort of order], make us "Hug each other till we loved each other" much like this:
Step 2: Become The Victim
As I stated before physical violence was very much apart of my brother and my relationship. Though he knows that the only girl he can hit was me. This known fact came about after he punch me and I, in a very loving way, pinned him off the ground and told him "IF I EVER HEAR YOU HIT ANOTHER GIRL, I WILL KILL YOU". I think he got the point but this however has nothing to do with becoming the victim. The victim consist of a three step actions that requires only a little bit of tears and a WHOLE lot of lying. Step 1: Hit the other person. Usually I recommend this to be after they have ticked you off and generally not in a situation where legal action will be the ending result. Step 2: Allow that person to hit you. Yes, I understand this is painful but look at the bigger outcome, you're a girl and it far larger offense if a boy hits you therefore they will get in trouble more. Step 3: Cry so hard that your mom only understands that you've been hurt by your brother. At this point my brother had no choice but to allow the punishment to be bestowed upon him. This doesn't always work, it really depends on mom.
Step 3: Take Advantage of Situations
This is probably THE worst thing I ever did as a sister and one day I'll apologize for it. [Sorry Dude]. But when Sawyer was young he went through a phase of lying. This phase was bad for him but a fabulous opportunity for me. Because I think it was very hard for my parents to accept that they had two liars on their hands, they chose to believe the one who lied last. Which was consequently me :). Many of times I would do something, then either A. Convinced Sawyer to do it with me or B. Set Sawyer up and when we got caught blame it entirely on him. This worked for years, until I realized how morally wrong it was.
However, since I realize how much of a horrible sister I look right now and how I am always one for looking at the bright side, here are some things that benefited my brother.
1. I created secrets between us
Not always did I pin things one him. Being that I was creative, I generally convinced him to do things with me that I knew, if we got caught, would get us in trouble, but I would set it up so mom never knew.
2. I'm still teaching him how to push mom just far enough
This is a work in progress, mainly because Sawyer doesn't realize when joking, isn't joking anymore and he's really ticked mama off. But I am teaching him to recognize the signs of irritation.
3. I give him advice on girls
I am not claiming to know everything about girls and I realize every girl is different. However, there are a few things he needs to know when it comes to dating girls. 1. Be friends with her first 2. When you feel like God is leading you [After a while of prayer] to date this girl, ask her parents. 3. Set ground rules and boundries in the relationship early on and DON'T FLIRT WITH THAT LINE. 4. Be chivalrous, open doors, pay for dinner etc. 5. Whether you are dating the girl or not, or whether you have the intentions of dating her or not, treat everyone better than you treat your sister.
Please don't get me wrong. I love my brother very much. His existence sometimes frustrates me and many times I look at my mom when we both feel like he is from another planet and I'll say "You just couldn't be content with one". However, if you ever get me passionatly talking about my brother I'd really jump over the moon for him. I am very proud of my brother. I realize he has this unfair label placed upon him by some people who cannot forgive his mistakes and move on, that he is a not so nice kid and various other things. Which he was, but God has worked wonders in him and daily I am reminded through him that we are all a work in progress. I honestly can say that I don't tell him enough how proud I am of the choices he is making. Yes, he is weird. Yes, he tends to talk to the dog in an annoying high pitch baby voice that makes me want to punch him in throat. But then he does things like text me out of the blue and tell me he misses me and for a brief moment I forget he's annoying and then he sends me 45 duck dynasty emojis and I remember. So Sawyer, I love you.
You're Welcome,
Amanda
P.S I am sorry mom for any grammatical or spelling errors.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
What's a Girl really?
It's funny to me how often I question why I am a girl. Mostly because I feel like I am bad at it. I don't always want to be girly and make up sometimes is just a hassle, heck sometimes I just throw my hair in a pony tail and go with it. Though I also know all of those I just mentioned is something almost every girl I talk to goes through those ups and downs. However, as a girl it made me question what is it that society, and even the church, tell us it's like to be a girl. It seems like though many girls my age want someone to be their earthly god. Whether you are a christian girl or not, the world and even the church tells this very different perception of what a girl should be. Sadly, a lot of times both places portray an image of completion with a man, not completion with God. This sets us [Girls] up for some complications.
1. Self-confidence:
I have my battles with self confidence. Many of the time it has to deal with my weight or my book smarts or music talent and the list goes on. I am constantly reminding myself that my worth isn't held in worldly ideals but the fact that I am the daughter of the one true King. It pains me though when I see girls my age or younger than I struggling with this to an extreme that it controls their life. Everyone always talks about these girls who fish for compliments with status' like "#Ugly" or "I am so gross guys" but what does anyone do to change this? A few weeks ago a girl my younger cousin's age posted a picture on a social media site that did just that. As I starred at the picture it pained me to think, what have I done to even change this? I taught this girl in a summer lesson where we talked about relationships but had I gotten it all wrong? Should I have spent less time giving them examples of perfection and what life should be like and more time spending teaching those girls what God-centered lives look like. I quickly responded to the girl, not out of a worldly stance but I tried my best to take a biblical stance. I quoted Songs of Solomon 4:7 and told her she physically the way God want's her to be, but that isn't enough. It isn't enough as an older girl to tell these girls they are pretty, I have to demonstrate it. We all [Women and girls alike] have to demonstrate to these younger girls what pure confidence is like. Here are some ways:
1. Self-confidence:
I have my battles with self confidence. Many of the time it has to deal with my weight or my book smarts or music talent and the list goes on. I am constantly reminding myself that my worth isn't held in worldly ideals but the fact that I am the daughter of the one true King. It pains me though when I see girls my age or younger than I struggling with this to an extreme that it controls their life. Everyone always talks about these girls who fish for compliments with status' like "#Ugly" or "I am so gross guys" but what does anyone do to change this? A few weeks ago a girl my younger cousin's age posted a picture on a social media site that did just that. As I starred at the picture it pained me to think, what have I done to even change this? I taught this girl in a summer lesson where we talked about relationships but had I gotten it all wrong? Should I have spent less time giving them examples of perfection and what life should be like and more time spending teaching those girls what God-centered lives look like. I quickly responded to the girl, not out of a worldly stance but I tried my best to take a biblical stance. I quoted Songs of Solomon 4:7 and told her she physically the way God want's her to be, but that isn't enough. It isn't enough as an older girl to tell these girls they are pretty, I have to demonstrate it. We all [Women and girls alike] have to demonstrate to these younger girls what pure confidence is like. Here are some ways:
1. Accept that your gift, is different {1 Corinthians 12}
2. You are your own type of beautiful {Songs of Solomon 4:7}
3. God loves you {The whole bible really, but check out John 3:16}
2. Date those church boys
Now do not take what I am saying you MUST be equally yoked. HE MUST LEAD YOU! Am I getting my point across? You must have man who is strong in his walk with CHRIST and who is willing to lead you and y'all relationship to CHRIST. However, in the church we are often told that we have to date now at the age of 12 [I hope people aren't telling 12 year olds to date]. The truth is God has made that one person for you, sure it may be one of those boys that sit next to you in youth group but at age 12, 13,14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19 and sometimes 20 boys probably aren't able to take on the role of spiritually leading you. Not saying that they aren't a great Christian boy, because I know very many good christian boys that aren't ready to bring on a wife to their spiritual ride and if you are dating and marriage isn't your purpose, then you shouldn't be dating. Girls, be patient.
3.You're not really you until you are with a man {A la completion via a boy}
I was watching chick flicks [Cause I enjoy them, because I am a chick] and the story is always the same. It generally is two people of opposite personalities, cultural backgrounds, and so on meet, have some really hardcore beginning then something happens, they break up, the girls cries and eats, the boy does some romantic gesture to win her back and they live happily ever after. The sad thing is somewhere in our minds, us girls get the sense that we aren't you we are suppose to be until we are with a boy. Many movies portray girls as damsels in distress who's in the need of saving. News flash!! Jesus did that 2,000 some years ago. Also no guy on this planet, no matter how gorgeous, smart, romantic, etc. is going to be enough to save you. He too had to be saved by Christ and therefore will not be able to even match the love of Christ. So a little word of advice, if you ever want to be fully happy in a relationship, first learn that Christ is enough and that you are only completed with Christ and Christ alone.
4. You can change him
The bible is continually warning us about being equally yoked in relationships and how bad company corrupts bad character. But for some unknown reason to me, girls [Including me] feel that with a little TLC we'll change that boy. I've seen this with my friends where they compromise and then end up getting hurt when they realize that the guy cannot be changed. I also dealt with this in my last relationship. I wanted so bad to help him and my dad just told me that only God and him can change him. So if he isn't where he needs to be in his walk with Christ, one of two things need to happen. 1. Either just be friends and keep it there or 2. If you see projection where he'll be a godly leader one day, be patience.
So at this point I've realized these points are really relationship points so here's one that isn't on relationships.
5. Modesty = Out of fashion
The older I get modesty has become a huge issue/part of my life. Physically I am a bigger girl. Clothes are too tight and revealing. I am also tall, if you didn't know tall + big booty= everything dress and skirt related is shorter... With that disclaimer out lately modesty has been a big focus of mine, especially in college. But modesty doesn't mean I am out of fashion. Modesty just means you have to search a little harder to find cuter clothes. I love Pinterest [For many reasons] but one of them is that it shows me that I can be super cute in modest clothing. Not only that but a lot of things I like style wise are more modest anyway. On another note, I saw on Twitter today a girl making fun of a post that compared the world's view of clothing [Generally more revealing] and God's idea of keeping yourself pure in what you where. She stated that she think God doesn't care. God does care, not only for your sake but for the boys around you.
For a little treat, here's a video about bikini's on the ideas of modesty :)
Thanks for reading my blog!! :)
Amanda :)
4. You can change him
The bible is continually warning us about being equally yoked in relationships and how bad company corrupts bad character. But for some unknown reason to me, girls [Including me] feel that with a little TLC we'll change that boy. I've seen this with my friends where they compromise and then end up getting hurt when they realize that the guy cannot be changed. I also dealt with this in my last relationship. I wanted so bad to help him and my dad just told me that only God and him can change him. So if he isn't where he needs to be in his walk with Christ, one of two things need to happen. 1. Either just be friends and keep it there or 2. If you see projection where he'll be a godly leader one day, be patience.
So at this point I've realized these points are really relationship points so here's one that isn't on relationships.
5. Modesty = Out of fashion
The older I get modesty has become a huge issue/part of my life. Physically I am a bigger girl. Clothes are too tight and revealing. I am also tall, if you didn't know tall + big booty= everything dress and skirt related is shorter... With that disclaimer out lately modesty has been a big focus of mine, especially in college. But modesty doesn't mean I am out of fashion. Modesty just means you have to search a little harder to find cuter clothes. I love Pinterest [For many reasons] but one of them is that it shows me that I can be super cute in modest clothing. Not only that but a lot of things I like style wise are more modest anyway. On another note, I saw on Twitter today a girl making fun of a post that compared the world's view of clothing [Generally more revealing] and God's idea of keeping yourself pure in what you where. She stated that she think God doesn't care. God does care, not only for your sake but for the boys around you.
For a little treat, here's a video about bikini's on the ideas of modesty :)
Amanda :)
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Role Models
*** Disclaimer: This is a series that recognizes those who have greatly benefited me in qualities and lessons that are not tangible but characteristics that will forever change the person that I am today to who I will be tomorrow from what I was yesterday. These people will be in every decision I make and everywhere I go***
Part 1: Parents
I realize that unlike many children today, I was very fortunate enough to have both parents present in my home. Living in a nation plagued by divorce and various other family destroying components, I was fortunate enough to see both my parents daily interacting with one another in the home. Each of them; however, gave pieces of me to make me who I am.
Dear Daddy,
For most of my life I would probably identify myself as a "daddy's girl". When I was young I use to claim that I looked like my mama but acted like you. You lit the fire in me for politics and the obsessive need to argue my stance. You though, looking back gave and instilled in me
many characteristics that have made me who I am. You taught me that no matter what I go through that my relationship with Christ is number one and my character is number 2. By retaining those two ideals I am bound to make the right decision most of the time. One major lesson that learn from you has been the love of a man. You have been married to my mother for over 2 decades and in those 2 decades my brother and I have had the fortune of seeing you two love in times of happiness and times of sadness. A statement that I will never forget is when you looked at me and said "Two things I want you kids to know, 1 that I loved Christ and 2 I love your mama". You and mom are grossly and adorably in love with one another.
Dear Mama,
Sadly I spent a good deal of my life at odds with you. You were out of fashion, weird and obviously did not love me. Most of my life I was stupid. Today I would say you are my best friend. I share my life with you; boys, friends, hard times, good times and so on. You have taught me how to be unforgivably giving to everyone. Growing up you poured your life into my brother, my father and I. In fact, until now you never really did anything with friends outside of the home. Your friends consisted of my brother and my friend's parents. You constantly put us first. You also put others outside of our little family first as well. I watched growing up as you gave until you thought you had nothing left to give, then gave some more. A fine example of this was my "middle school years" *Cue scarey music*. I was... I was well for a lack of a better word, a nightmare, ok I actually was a nightmare. I rarely can remember a moment when our nights didn't end in a screaming match. This went on for 2 years. You never stopped showing me love. Many nights you would end up crying with me. You never stopped fighting for me. You never stopped praying for me. I know for a fact that I pushed you past your breaking points many nights but you kept giving. You are still out of fashion, weird but I know you loves me.
All and all my parents were the second biggest influence in my life. Even at college I cannot wait to go home and laugh with them. When I have a problem or a happy moment to share they are the first people I call. They are constantly encouraging me to accomplish my goals and pushing my relationship with Christ to go further than comfort. They aren't perfect [Ask them or my brother or me], they daily mess up like any human. However they do the best they can with what they have and then some. They are the greatest example I have for a Christ-centered marriage and the best cheerleaders I'll ever have.
Love you Mama and Daddy :)
I realize that unlike many children today, I was very fortunate enough to have both parents present in my home. Living in a nation plagued by divorce and various other family destroying components, I was fortunate enough to see both my parents daily interacting with one another in the home. Each of them; however, gave pieces of me to make me who I am.
For most of my life I would probably identify myself as a "daddy's girl". When I was young I use to claim that I looked like my mama but acted like you. You lit the fire in me for politics and the obsessive need to argue my stance. You though, looking back gave and instilled in me
many characteristics that have made me who I am. You taught me that no matter what I go through that my relationship with Christ is number one and my character is number 2. By retaining those two ideals I am bound to make the right decision most of the time. One major lesson that learn from you has been the love of a man. You have been married to my mother for over 2 decades and in those 2 decades my brother and I have had the fortune of seeing you two love in times of happiness and times of sadness. A statement that I will never forget is when you looked at me and said "Two things I want you kids to know, 1 that I loved Christ and 2 I love your mama". You and mom are grossly and adorably in love with one another.
Dear Mama,
Sadly I spent a good deal of my life at odds with you. You were out of fashion, weird and obviously did not love me. Most of my life I was stupid. Today I would say you are my best friend. I share my life with you; boys, friends, hard times, good times and so on. You have taught me how to be unforgivably giving to everyone. Growing up you poured your life into my brother, my father and I. In fact, until now you never really did anything with friends outside of the home. Your friends consisted of my brother and my friend's parents. You constantly put us first. You also put others outside of our little family first as well. I watched growing up as you gave until you thought you had nothing left to give, then gave some more. A fine example of this was my "middle school years" *Cue scarey music*. I was... I was well for a lack of a better word, a nightmare, ok I actually was a nightmare. I rarely can remember a moment when our nights didn't end in a screaming match. This went on for 2 years. You never stopped showing me love. Many nights you would end up crying with me. You never stopped fighting for me. You never stopped praying for me. I know for a fact that I pushed you past your breaking points many nights but you kept giving. You are still out of fashion, weird but I know you loves me.
All and all my parents were the second biggest influence in my life. Even at college I cannot wait to go home and laugh with them. When I have a problem or a happy moment to share they are the first people I call. They are constantly encouraging me to accomplish my goals and pushing my relationship with Christ to go further than comfort. They aren't perfect [Ask them or my brother or me], they daily mess up like any human. However they do the best they can with what they have and then some. They are the greatest example I have for a Christ-centered marriage and the best cheerleaders I'll ever have.
Love you Mama and Daddy :)
Later Gator,
Amanda
Monday, November 11, 2013
Call to Adoption
I am only 19, I fully understand that but I've always been a dreamer. I know what I want out of life and adoption is one of them. Adoption has always been on my mind. When I was younger and unstatisified by the number of siblings God blessed my family with. I use to create these elborate stories which often began with 5 siblings being left on my family's porch and my family would adopt them. My family came close to adoption once when I was 9-12 years old. I played softball and my dad was my coach. We had a girl on our team named Marie. She was a foster child and half way through the season her foster mother upped and left her. My family began researching foster care and eventually decided that it was not for us.
The summer before my senior year in high school I headed to Africa. The joke before going was my best friend at the time and I wanted to go to Africa to hold little African babies.
I got to do that. While there we visited an orphanage in Karima, Kenya. This only increased the need to adopt; however, life got in the way and I soon forgot about anything regarding parentless children. About two weeks ago in my communications class, my professor showed us this video:
I texted my mom and told her that my need to adopt was back and it was going to happen. It was also cool when my church announced that following Sunday that they were dedicated to helping orphans across the world. They hoped to soon give half of the money they get from tithing to orphanages around the world. Then the other day though I stumbled across this video: This Couple Was Ruined... In The best Way possible. I realized something very special this call on my life wasn't just a call because I love children but it was a very real example of what God does for us. I heard somewhere adoption described as salvation like this: a child is in a less than ideal situation and someone pays an unbelievable price to bring them into their family, God gave his son to pay an unbelievable price to bring us into His family out of our horrible sinful lives.
I don't know when or how adoption will happen but until then I am trusting God to work in my life.
Later,
Amanda Larson
The summer before my senior year in high school I headed to Africa. The joke before going was my best friend at the time and I wanted to go to Africa to hold little African babies.
I texted my mom and told her that my need to adopt was back and it was going to happen. It was also cool when my church announced that following Sunday that they were dedicated to helping orphans across the world. They hoped to soon give half of the money they get from tithing to orphanages around the world. Then the other day though I stumbled across this video: This Couple Was Ruined... In The best Way possible. I realized something very special this call on my life wasn't just a call because I love children but it was a very real example of what God does for us. I heard somewhere adoption described as salvation like this: a child is in a less than ideal situation and someone pays an unbelievable price to bring them into their family, God gave his son to pay an unbelievable price to bring us into His family out of our horrible sinful lives.
I don't know when or how adoption will happen but until then I am trusting God to work in my life.
Later,
Amanda Larson
Friday, November 8, 2013
20 Facts About me
6 Completely Logistical Facts about my Craziness
1. I am a Communications Major
I am studying communications in hopes of becoming like Olivia Pope. If that fails then I totally am going to school for my MRS. degree ;)
2. I am kind of the oldest child
My family life is strangely normal. Especially considering what my parents have been through. Techniqually I am the oldest [Biologically]. My dad however raised his cousin whom he considers his first experimental child. It was like borrowing a friend's bike to learn how to ride with training wheels. If I consider him my brother then I have 2 brothers, a sister in law and a nephew.
3. I am not book smart
I am very good at tricking people. All through high school everyone thought I was a 4.0 student who was heading to Chapel Hill. I was a 3.4 student and I didn't end up at Chapel Hill. When it comes to school, I am not that brilliant on test etc. But when it comes to the real world I can trick people into think I am actually educated.
4. Social Media is Life
On Pinterest, the last time I checked I had 12,142 pin. On Twitter I have 10,343 tweets and let's not even get into Facebook.
5. I am a Christ follower
I realize now this probably should be number 1, but non the less I am. Sorry that came out so nonchalant. I really am growing still and my relationship with Christ is the number 1 thing in my life. I am sure if you even glance at my blog again, you'll see it.
6. My Ministry is the Youngins
Over the summer before college, my old church went to a Clayton King camp called Crossroads. While I was there I felt a tug on my heart for ministry. When I say this many people expect missions. Where I love going on mission trips, my ministry is not mission, or rather oversea missions. My heart truly breaks for the young kids in our country. I'd love to spend my life giving godly, biblical advice to the youth. Don't know how I am going to do this but we'll see.
14 Just Chill Facts About Me
1. I like to Write
2. I love Mexican and Italian Food
3. I've got a thing for godly men with beards
4. I the type of person that will watch 10 seasons of a show on netflix in one sitting
5. I love politics
6. I love history
7. I'm mama's best friend and daddy's little girl
8. I try to always think before I speak
9. I am obsessed with Starbucks
10. I was Student Body President in High School
***Side note I won by bribing people with Chick-fil-A coupons***
11. I love Chick-fil-A
12. Nutella and a spoon is generally a nightly snack for me
13. It's a Pirate's life for me [Not Pittsburgh]
14. I am currently in love with Matt Chandler's sermons
Love,
Amanda :)
1. I am a Communications Major
I am studying communications in hopes of becoming like Olivia Pope. If that fails then I totally am going to school for my MRS. degree ;)
2. I am kind of the oldest child
My family life is strangely normal. Especially considering what my parents have been through. Techniqually I am the oldest [Biologically]. My dad however raised his cousin whom he considers his first experimental child. It was like borrowing a friend's bike to learn how to ride with training wheels. If I consider him my brother then I have 2 brothers, a sister in law and a nephew.
3. I am not book smart
I am very good at tricking people. All through high school everyone thought I was a 4.0 student who was heading to Chapel Hill. I was a 3.4 student and I didn't end up at Chapel Hill. When it comes to school, I am not that brilliant on test etc. But when it comes to the real world I can trick people into think I am actually educated.
4. Social Media is Life
On Pinterest, the last time I checked I had 12,142 pin. On Twitter I have 10,343 tweets and let's not even get into Facebook.
5. I am a Christ follower
I realize now this probably should be number 1, but non the less I am. Sorry that came out so nonchalant. I really am growing still and my relationship with Christ is the number 1 thing in my life. I am sure if you even glance at my blog again, you'll see it.
6. My Ministry is the Youngins
Over the summer before college, my old church went to a Clayton King camp called Crossroads. While I was there I felt a tug on my heart for ministry. When I say this many people expect missions. Where I love going on mission trips, my ministry is not mission, or rather oversea missions. My heart truly breaks for the young kids in our country. I'd love to spend my life giving godly, biblical advice to the youth. Don't know how I am going to do this but we'll see.
14 Just Chill Facts About Me
1. I like to Write
2. I love Mexican and Italian Food
3. I've got a thing for godly men with beards
4. I the type of person that will watch 10 seasons of a show on netflix in one sitting
5. I love politics
6. I love history
7. I'm mama's best friend and daddy's little girl
8. I try to always think before I speak
9. I am obsessed with Starbucks
10. I was Student Body President in High School
***Side note I won by bribing people with Chick-fil-A coupons***
11. I love Chick-fil-A
12. Nutella and a spoon is generally a nightly snack for me
13. It's a Pirate's life for me [Not Pittsburgh]
14. I am currently in love with Matt Chandler's sermons
Love,
Amanda :)
It's not you, It's me
After 3 years of desiring after this one guy, I was thrilled when he finally broke down and asked my dad to court me. I instantly continued on planning our wedding. After 3 months, I looked at this boy and wondered what was wrong with me. Did I love this boy? Yes. But was he the man I wanted to marry? I wasn't quite sure anymore. I was faced with this dilemma. I could stay with this man because my heart yearned for him or I could follow my head and leave. God began to work. Eventually I broke it off and after being bitter for all of a day and every once and awhile 10 minutes. I started to reevaluate things. I mean everything. I realized that this boy had nothing to do with why we didn't work out in the long run. Mentally both of us couldn't handle each other. But I'll just talk about me and my struggles.
1. I lied
Boy, did I. Nothing is scary when you are dealing with a good godly man and you know deep down in your heart that your life isn't where it should be. Up to him finally being broken by my constant run down, my life was a wreck. I was 2 months away from heading to the known party school in my state. The devil really started breaking down my moral walls. I struggled hard with this and when the boy finally admitted his interest it was like getting slapped in the face. I quickly scurried around to find the means in my power to piece together my broken relationship with CHRIST. I cut major corners and eventually lead to me at the end of our three month courtship, having to admit my fault.
2. I made excuses
He was my first boyfriend. So over my past 18 years of life the advice I had given to countless friends had, so I thought, taught me the do's and don'ts of a relationship. But weeks into it when my roommate and neighbor confronted me about things, I made excuses. I made excuses to everyone about his behavior. I tried to pretend like everything that was going on was stress related. I also put my relationship on a pedestal. Everyone else couldn't possibly understand my relationship because they just are frivolously dating, I am basically married. WRONG!
3. I sought him not HIM
Our relationship started off by the casual "How can I pray for you?", this was probably the best thing we did for our relationship. It started us off right. But as our relationship continued forward our steady pace ended up turning into a sprint. The only time I sprint is for chick fil a. As we huffed and puffed our way through our relationship we stopped caring about God. As God crept out, sins crept in. Fights began to ring loudly and God's word stooped to a whisper, and amongst the shouting HIS whisper was no existent. As things quickly started heading down hill, I constantly sought ways to gain the boy's attention, to make him notice me instead of seeking God. It wasn't until I was broken that I turned to God.
4. On the ground, stay on the ground
If you meet me and pursue a friendship with me, you'll soon find out that I choose words carefully. Most of my middle school years I found out just how damaging words could be. Luckily this taught me the power of thinking before I speak (For the most part). When I get into fights with people, I generally am quick to apologize. Half way through the argument I realize the pettiness or the wrong in the argument. I am not a fan of confrontation if it can be avoided. However in my relationship this allotted to constant stepping over the lines of respect and disrespect. I choose to believe he didn't do this on purpose and most of the time I feel he was doing what was best. In the long run though I continually allowed him to just step over me and disregard my feelings and emotions. I learned quickly my worth when a good friend of mine stated in regards to her relationship that "... I am a daughter of the one true King and I deserve better...". I came to the realization that no matter what relationship you are in, friendship, marriage, or dating, that respect is a must from a christian man to a christian woman and vice versa. Will you fail? Yes. Is that a reason to not try? No.
5. God uses our breaking points, as lessons
My earthly father was very good at always teaching me a lesson of character. So as I sat there and went through that faze after my break up where I questioned everything that I did. I wanted to know where I went wrong, what did I do? I soon figured out that it really wasn't me and and it wasn't him. It was both of us. I; however, wanted to make sure that my next relation was my last one. God taught me a lesson in several areas of my life. One of them was what I wanted to do with my ministry. He also taught me one of the biggest lessons I ever learned and probably will have to learn a few more times just because I am stubborn. That lesson was the lesson of be completely filled with Him, that a boy, friend or anything is just an over flow. That anything more than Him can come and go and my joy would not go with them.
After talking this through myself it was easy to talk to others about this. (I secretly think they are all tired of hearing it). But now I am on this journey, this journey of completely going ocean deep as my dad continually reminds me to do to find Christ.
Love,
Amanda
Song of Solomon 4:7
1. I lied
Boy, did I. Nothing is scary when you are dealing with a good godly man and you know deep down in your heart that your life isn't where it should be. Up to him finally being broken by my constant run down, my life was a wreck. I was 2 months away from heading to the known party school in my state. The devil really started breaking down my moral walls. I struggled hard with this and when the boy finally admitted his interest it was like getting slapped in the face. I quickly scurried around to find the means in my power to piece together my broken relationship with CHRIST. I cut major corners and eventually lead to me at the end of our three month courtship, having to admit my fault.
2. I made excuses
He was my first boyfriend. So over my past 18 years of life the advice I had given to countless friends had, so I thought, taught me the do's and don'ts of a relationship. But weeks into it when my roommate and neighbor confronted me about things, I made excuses. I made excuses to everyone about his behavior. I tried to pretend like everything that was going on was stress related. I also put my relationship on a pedestal. Everyone else couldn't possibly understand my relationship because they just are frivolously dating, I am basically married. WRONG!
3. I sought him not HIM
Our relationship started off by the casual "How can I pray for you?", this was probably the best thing we did for our relationship. It started us off right. But as our relationship continued forward our steady pace ended up turning into a sprint. The only time I sprint is for chick fil a. As we huffed and puffed our way through our relationship we stopped caring about God. As God crept out, sins crept in. Fights began to ring loudly and God's word stooped to a whisper, and amongst the shouting HIS whisper was no existent. As things quickly started heading down hill, I constantly sought ways to gain the boy's attention, to make him notice me instead of seeking God. It wasn't until I was broken that I turned to God.
4. On the ground, stay on the ground
If you meet me and pursue a friendship with me, you'll soon find out that I choose words carefully. Most of my middle school years I found out just how damaging words could be. Luckily this taught me the power of thinking before I speak (For the most part). When I get into fights with people, I generally am quick to apologize. Half way through the argument I realize the pettiness or the wrong in the argument. I am not a fan of confrontation if it can be avoided. However in my relationship this allotted to constant stepping over the lines of respect and disrespect. I choose to believe he didn't do this on purpose and most of the time I feel he was doing what was best. In the long run though I continually allowed him to just step over me and disregard my feelings and emotions. I learned quickly my worth when a good friend of mine stated in regards to her relationship that "... I am a daughter of the one true King and I deserve better...". I came to the realization that no matter what relationship you are in, friendship, marriage, or dating, that respect is a must from a christian man to a christian woman and vice versa. Will you fail? Yes. Is that a reason to not try? No.
5. God uses our breaking points, as lessons
My earthly father was very good at always teaching me a lesson of character. So as I sat there and went through that faze after my break up where I questioned everything that I did. I wanted to know where I went wrong, what did I do? I soon figured out that it really wasn't me and and it wasn't him. It was both of us. I; however, wanted to make sure that my next relation was my last one. God taught me a lesson in several areas of my life. One of them was what I wanted to do with my ministry. He also taught me one of the biggest lessons I ever learned and probably will have to learn a few more times just because I am stubborn. That lesson was the lesson of be completely filled with Him, that a boy, friend or anything is just an over flow. That anything more than Him can come and go and my joy would not go with them.
After talking this through myself it was easy to talk to others about this. (I secretly think they are all tired of hearing it). But now I am on this journey, this journey of completely going ocean deep as my dad continually reminds me to do to find Christ.
Love,
Amanda
Song of Solomon 4:7
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