Wednesday night as I was sitting in one of the recruitment events for Sigma Alpha Omega, a Christian sorority at my school, the hopeful sisters of mine delivered a commentary on a sermon in which they had heard at Passion 2014. The sermon was delivered by Christine Caine and it discussed the idea of being everything God has called you to be. Being that I am the person I am and find great enjoyment out of listening to sermons and various speeches, I just had to listen to some of Caine's sermons. I YouTubed her name and found the speech that she gave 2 years prior at Passion 2012. I only got five minutes into the speech until God spoke to me.
Caine was talking about how statistics dehumanize people and take away the magnitude of suffrage going on. She then brought up her own personal experience and this is where it hit me. A few years ago when Madeline was taken, Caine brushed it off until the name Sophia {one of Caine's daughter's name} was the name of a girl on a poster hanging by Madeline's poster, then suddenly the story was personal to Caine. She said that she once lost her daughter for 5 minute and how frantic and crazy she looked trying to find her. Her quote: "When something changes from a number or a statistic or someone on a poster to mine, everything changes. What wouldn't I do to find my girl, if that was my daughter? What wouldn't I give up? I remember we lost Sophia once in London on Oxford street for less than five minutes in a book shop. I ran out on Oxford street, I am standing on a mailbox screaming for my daughter. What wouldn't you do if it was your child that was lost? If it was your sister? If it was your... What wouldn't you do? You wouldn't care what you looked like, you wouldn't care what you'd have to give. You would do anything to rescue the one." And as I was listening to this quote it reminded me of a passage in Luke where Jesus confronts the Pharisees after they accused Him of welcoming sinners and eating with them {Luke 15:2}. Jesus goes on to deliver three parables of the lost sheep {Luke 15:3-7}, the lost coin{Luke 15:8-10}, and the parable of the lost son {Luke 15:11-31}. The parables lent to the simple idea that if even one soul is saved, Heaven will rejoice, no matter how significant that soul seems to us. The speech combined with the bible verses and an earlier conversation with a good friend made me wonder "What am I doing to find the lost?"
I admit many of the times the first sight of a child being missing churns my stomach but soon I push it to the back of my radar and move forward. I do the same thing when I think about the lost. According to Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life, in 2010 2.18 billion people claim to be Christians in the World, which in 2010 was 1/3 of the world, that means 2/3 of the world is lost. 4.72 billion people are going to hell and spending eternity there, that is assuming that the 1/3 of the population who claims to be Christians were actually saved Christians. Yet,what am I doing?
Today while eating lunch with my good friend, Meredith, her and I discussed our testimony for SAO. I was telling her how most of my "lost years" I knew I was running from God. I knew what God wanted for my life and yet I ran and was ashamed of Him. I then went on to say even in my Christian walk I find my self still running from Him {I'm stubborn} often. Meredith made a profound statement, she said "Well we all are, technically we should be able to stand up and shout the gospel right now, but we don't." I mean in a very stupid excuse for not shouting the Gospel, we have been conditioned that doing so is unacceptable in today's culture, even so if we use this excuse what stops us from sharing the Gospel in a more intimate fashion. I mean sure, a majority of my friends know where I stand in my walk. But yet, what am I doing?
I imagine that if my cousins Jordan or Allie or my brother were kidnapped or missing, I would do anything, stop at nothing and risk everything to get them home. Our attitude towards the lost should be the same. Each of those 4.72 people who are lost, are our brothers and sister, they are missing from our Father's home. Are we risking our status, comfort or safety to find the lost? Are we going to the ends of our town, our state, our country, or the earth to tell them? Are we treating them like our lost brothers and sister who are hopeless, scared, and in the dark? Most likely we aren't, at least I know I am not. It's difficult and uncomfortable, I know. However, our Father stopped at nothing, risked everything and did everything to get us back. The least we can do is tell the 4.72 about it.
-Amanda
Resources for this blog:
Christine Caine's Passion 2012 Speech
Luke 15
Pew Forum
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Monday, January 13, 2014
Late Night Thoughts.
It's late at night, or early in the morning whatever one you want to choose. As I sit here in my empty dorm room, listening to the sounds of my restless peers and thinking whether I should watch netflix or go to sleep, these are the top 10 things I am thinking about:
1. Why does it sound like a rollarcoaster/amusement park outside my window
Yes, I know I live at ECU but seriously y'all it isn't amusement park fun.
2. Man, I really like salsa
It's like life, it may have even replaced Nutella
3. I hope my grammar gets better with my Media Writing class
Because let's face it, y'all read my blogs, I need it.
4. I forgot my forks with Meredith
This saddens me.
5. I am the greatest best friend
Mainly because I am an awesome gift giver and my best friend is going to love her gift(s)
6. I love giving gifts
Literally knocked at several gifts for people and I think they'll die with love
7. When and who is my new roommate
Like it's been 3 days now, where is you?
8. Everything hurts, why do I need to work out
My back, my feet, my core, my legs...
9. Oh because I am a Fat Kid
Salsa.
10. Why am I able to be an adult
Nail polish on the furniture and a leaking fridge with water on the floor, this semester is starting off lovely.
-Manders :)
1. Why does it sound like a rollarcoaster/amusement park outside my window
Yes, I know I live at ECU but seriously y'all it isn't amusement park fun.
2. Man, I really like salsa
It's like life, it may have even replaced Nutella
3. I hope my grammar gets better with my Media Writing class
Because let's face it, y'all read my blogs, I need it.
4. I forgot my forks with Meredith
This saddens me.
5. I am the greatest best friend
Mainly because I am an awesome gift giver and my best friend is going to love her gift(s)
6. I love giving gifts
Literally knocked at several gifts for people and I think they'll die with love
7. When and who is my new roommate
Like it's been 3 days now, where is you?
8. Everything hurts, why do I need to work out
My back, my feet, my core, my legs...
9. Oh because I am a Fat Kid
Salsa.
10. Why am I able to be an adult
Nail polish on the furniture and a leaking fridge with water on the floor, this semester is starting off lovely.
-Manders :)
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Happy Saturday!
Hey y'all!
A quick update: So I just got back to school today and I am settling into my room now that my old roommate has moved out. I am loving the way my room looks I am just hoping it is practical the way it is setup. Tonight I went to the basketball game to watch ODU beat ECU (Cue booing) and tomorrow Court and I head off to Integrity Church.
HOWEVER! This is not why I write to you today. My purpose in writing to you is to gather your opinion on future blog post. Over the past few weeks I have been fumbling with an idea in my head. Obviously I am not going to tell you the idea (It would ruin the surprise) however based upon some vague clues I need your opinion on whether or not you want me to write it in a series setting or just write the one. If I wrote it in a series I would probably name the subtitle something like this "And other Lies Society Teaches us". So feel free to comment below :)
Love yours truly,
Manders
A quick update: So I just got back to school today and I am settling into my room now that my old roommate has moved out. I am loving the way my room looks I am just hoping it is practical the way it is setup. Tonight I went to the basketball game to watch ODU beat ECU (Cue booing) and tomorrow Court and I head off to Integrity Church.
HOWEVER! This is not why I write to you today. My purpose in writing to you is to gather your opinion on future blog post. Over the past few weeks I have been fumbling with an idea in my head. Obviously I am not going to tell you the idea (It would ruin the surprise) however based upon some vague clues I need your opinion on whether or not you want me to write it in a series setting or just write the one. If I wrote it in a series I would probably name the subtitle something like this "And other Lies Society Teaches us". So feel free to comment below :)
Love yours truly,
Manders
Monday, January 6, 2014
Broken
Just like most days, today ideas pop into my head, words stuck out and stories shaped my view of the finite being that I am. As I am on this growing expedition, I am realizing what I had been missing the last few months in the sense of what it feels like to just live rather than existing amongst tragedies. Lately, I have been examining my life; things like where did I fall off the road? How do I feel about that? etc, have been floating around my head. I've realized everyone of those questions revert back to the very real truth of my life, that is, Christ has broken me. As a sinful Christian I believe that being broken is a very real part of the walk. Christianity is not an easy life to live and anyone who tells you differently isn't doing it right or is lying to you. Nonetheless, God has been breaking me down piece by piece reverting back to April, almost two years ago. Almost two years ago a good friend of mine died in a car accident. Ever since then the feeling of lost-ness has been strangely abundant.
"Patience is a key virtue" is something I tend to say, sadly every time I say it I am reminded of what little patience I do have. I rush a lot of the aspects in my life, I am a result kind of girl. I miss out on the journey because I am so ready to see where I'll be and After losing my friend having the patiences to heal wasn't something I even attempted to do. I almost felt guilty for feeling so broken by it as I did, like how dare I, someone who had only known this girl for a few short few months, be allotted the time to feel this pain. Truth was though, daily I think about her, daily I think about our last conversation, the numbness I felt the day I found out she died or the pain that pierced my every vein and muscle at her visitation. Nothing was ever the same since then. I realize now though that I have to allow myself time to heal.
Today my best friend was telling me a story on where she was explaining the reason she didn't like my ex was because of how he broke me. As she told me the story I felt my big-bad self shouting "No he didn't break me, he couldn't have, he doesn't have that much control" the truth is, there's part of me he did break. The thought of reuniting with him is tarnished with bitterness. The idea of seeing him, hurts. He isn't a bad guy and his intentions might have been good, but in the end I was left broken. For the past few months I have been trying to hide that pain and brokenness under anger and strength. I realize now though that I have to allow myself time to heal.
As I talk about old friends, friends whom a year ago I was inseparable with, friends who I thought were my ride or die, friends who are now someone I try to avoid, I am sadden. No one ever wants to lose a best friend, ever, especially in such a way that is sudden and confusing. No one defiently doesn't want to lose almost a dozen of them in one shot. For the last few months I have covered that up with sarcastic remarks and accusations.I realize now thought that I have to allow myself time to heal.
It's easy to allow people to harm you. Which sounds weird saying, especially people whom you entrust your heart and soul to. You want them to be unhuman like and act as if they aren't ran by selfish motives caused by sin. The magnificent thing about it is this, God uses that brokenness, that pain and that heartache to radically change your life. He did that with mine. Even though people dating back to my grandparents and coming ahead to the recent ones I have forgiven, the pain they caused is forever imprinted onto my heart because it is a lesson in which God has used.
Brokenness isn't just caused by sinful people. It can be caused by lost or illness. God is a wonderful healer of the heart though if you just give it to him.
Amanda :)
"Patience is a key virtue" is something I tend to say, sadly every time I say it I am reminded of what little patience I do have. I rush a lot of the aspects in my life, I am a result kind of girl. I miss out on the journey because I am so ready to see where I'll be and After losing my friend having the patiences to heal wasn't something I even attempted to do. I almost felt guilty for feeling so broken by it as I did, like how dare I, someone who had only known this girl for a few short few months, be allotted the time to feel this pain. Truth was though, daily I think about her, daily I think about our last conversation, the numbness I felt the day I found out she died or the pain that pierced my every vein and muscle at her visitation. Nothing was ever the same since then. I realize now though that I have to allow myself time to heal.
Today my best friend was telling me a story on where she was explaining the reason she didn't like my ex was because of how he broke me. As she told me the story I felt my big-bad self shouting "No he didn't break me, he couldn't have, he doesn't have that much control" the truth is, there's part of me he did break. The thought of reuniting with him is tarnished with bitterness. The idea of seeing him, hurts. He isn't a bad guy and his intentions might have been good, but in the end I was left broken. For the past few months I have been trying to hide that pain and brokenness under anger and strength. I realize now though that I have to allow myself time to heal.
As I talk about old friends, friends whom a year ago I was inseparable with, friends who I thought were my ride or die, friends who are now someone I try to avoid, I am sadden. No one ever wants to lose a best friend, ever, especially in such a way that is sudden and confusing. No one defiently doesn't want to lose almost a dozen of them in one shot. For the last few months I have covered that up with sarcastic remarks and accusations.I realize now thought that I have to allow myself time to heal.
It's easy to allow people to harm you. Which sounds weird saying, especially people whom you entrust your heart and soul to. You want them to be unhuman like and act as if they aren't ran by selfish motives caused by sin. The magnificent thing about it is this, God uses that brokenness, that pain and that heartache to radically change your life. He did that with mine. Even though people dating back to my grandparents and coming ahead to the recent ones I have forgiven, the pain they caused is forever imprinted onto my heart because it is a lesson in which God has used.
Brokenness isn't just caused by sinful people. It can be caused by lost or illness. God is a wonderful healer of the heart though if you just give it to him.
Jesus replied "You don't understand what I am doing, but someday you will." John 13:7
Amanda :)
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