We are approximately 3 years apart except from September- January when I am 4 years older than him. Being this close together has brought us many times like the photo above but sadly we generally find some humorous way to break down each others' psyche [Generally, I win]. Growing up we spent a lot of time giving my mom a near break down because in fact we were dysfunctional. As we get older, picking fights with one another has turned into a game of how long will it take for mom to freak out. We love her dearly. When we were younger we were the type of kids, though, to break out every piece of my Barbie collection, divide it evenly [OK, this only happened after about 8 year of figuring out we can't just jump into playing Barbies] just to decide that we hated each other for not wanting the same things for our Barbie's lives [Usually his "male Barbie" didn't love my girl Barbie]. However, this was not the highlight of my childhood fights with my brother. Which brings me to
Step 1: Manipulating the Other Child
My mom use to [in an unusual punishment sort of order], make us "Hug each other till we loved each other" much like this:
Step 2: Become The Victim
As I stated before physical violence was very much apart of my brother and my relationship. Though he knows that the only girl he can hit was me. This known fact came about after he punch me and I, in a very loving way, pinned him off the ground and told him "IF I EVER HEAR YOU HIT ANOTHER GIRL, I WILL KILL YOU". I think he got the point but this however has nothing to do with becoming the victim. The victim consist of a three step actions that requires only a little bit of tears and a WHOLE lot of lying. Step 1: Hit the other person. Usually I recommend this to be after they have ticked you off and generally not in a situation where legal action will be the ending result. Step 2: Allow that person to hit you. Yes, I understand this is painful but look at the bigger outcome, you're a girl and it far larger offense if a boy hits you therefore they will get in trouble more. Step 3: Cry so hard that your mom only understands that you've been hurt by your brother. At this point my brother had no choice but to allow the punishment to be bestowed upon him. This doesn't always work, it really depends on mom.
Step 3: Take Advantage of Situations
This is probably THE worst thing I ever did as a sister and one day I'll apologize for it. [Sorry Dude]. But when Sawyer was young he went through a phase of lying. This phase was bad for him but a fabulous opportunity for me. Because I think it was very hard for my parents to accept that they had two liars on their hands, they chose to believe the one who lied last. Which was consequently me :). Many of times I would do something, then either A. Convinced Sawyer to do it with me or B. Set Sawyer up and when we got caught blame it entirely on him. This worked for years, until I realized how morally wrong it was.
However, since I realize how much of a horrible sister I look right now and how I am always one for looking at the bright side, here are some things that benefited my brother.
1. I created secrets between us
Not always did I pin things one him. Being that I was creative, I generally convinced him to do things with me that I knew, if we got caught, would get us in trouble, but I would set it up so mom never knew.
2. I'm still teaching him how to push mom just far enough
This is a work in progress, mainly because Sawyer doesn't realize when joking, isn't joking anymore and he's really ticked mama off. But I am teaching him to recognize the signs of irritation.
3. I give him advice on girls
I am not claiming to know everything about girls and I realize every girl is different. However, there are a few things he needs to know when it comes to dating girls. 1. Be friends with her first 2. When you feel like God is leading you [After a while of prayer] to date this girl, ask her parents. 3. Set ground rules and boundries in the relationship early on and DON'T FLIRT WITH THAT LINE. 4. Be chivalrous, open doors, pay for dinner etc. 5. Whether you are dating the girl or not, or whether you have the intentions of dating her or not, treat everyone better than you treat your sister.
Please don't get me wrong. I love my brother very much. His existence sometimes frustrates me and many times I look at my mom when we both feel like he is from another planet and I'll say "You just couldn't be content with one". However, if you ever get me passionatly talking about my brother I'd really jump over the moon for him. I am very proud of my brother. I realize he has this unfair label placed upon him by some people who cannot forgive his mistakes and move on, that he is a not so nice kid and various other things. Which he was, but God has worked wonders in him and daily I am reminded through him that we are all a work in progress. I honestly can say that I don't tell him enough how proud I am of the choices he is making. Yes, he is weird. Yes, he tends to talk to the dog in an annoying high pitch baby voice that makes me want to punch him in throat. But then he does things like text me out of the blue and tell me he misses me and for a brief moment I forget he's annoying and then he sends me 45 duck dynasty emojis and I remember. So Sawyer, I love you.
You're Welcome,
Amanda
P.S I am sorry mom for any grammatical or spelling errors.
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