So I wanted to take a break from my usual series post and talk about some awesome things that God is doing in my life.
This last week has been probably THE best week that I have had. Nothing fancy happened. All my problems didn't magically fix themselves, but I had an overwhelming sense of both joy and peace.
Two Thursdays ago is probably when all of it started. It was horrendous, like no joke.
I like to think of myself as having high character values but Thursday night I let them fall. I won't go into detail on what exactly happened, those who know, know. It was bad and like good parents my parents pulled me downstairs and made me cry.
Okay, it wasn't necessarily all them who made me cry. It was mostly God. Thursday night was the slamming of a book. The finishing chapter. The light at the end of the tunnel. As I found myself once again running from the God I loved, I heard Him calling.
God knew I was tired, weery and mostly just broken. He knew that as I ran my hell-bound race that clutched in my hands was the piece of my heart, destroyed by my own doing. All He did was whisper. "Stop running." I broke.
Jesus held me.
One of the many things I love doing {okay, don't really love doing} is when I am broken and hurt, is my father hold me. As I cry into his chest he just steadies me. That's exactly what Christ did.
Fast forward to Monday.
After my mom had dropped me off and my roommate was out, I figured it would be a great time to read my bible. As I was reading I realized that was what I was missing. For the past 5 and a half months {I know people are tired of hearing about this} just complaining to God and asking Him, Why me? So like any good Father, He punched me {I am being completely sarcastic, about a good father punches people}. God gave me a wake up call. He said "Amanda, stop asking why, stop seeking for ways to get revenge. I got this." So I did.
So Monday was AWESOME! Tuesday was just as good and Wednesday I realize now I needed to step out and be available to God.
So I am just gonna fast forward through my week I'll just jump over a conference and a book idea to head into a new unlikely friend.
As I road back with one of my good friends last night, I was reminded at how blessed I am. I have a few godly girls {My age, I seem to have a collective bunch of older ones too} that continually push my idea of Christ forward. They are the girls that I know I could run with any problem and they would 1. Point me back to Christ and 2. Give me the best biblical advice they can muster up. However, I am continually praying for more guidance and more godly influences in my life. I have also turned my "Why God, Why me?" into "What God, How can you use me?" God delivered.
The other day as I was scrolling through my Pinterest notification {I was that bored} I stumbled upon someone who had commented on my pin. I wondered at first what it could be and I even scrolled by it at first. However something pulled me back to it and I clicked it.
The message was from a girl in TN. She said: hey Amanda! I have been following you on Pinterest for a while and tonight the Lord really used some of your pins to speak to me.. I feel like we have a lot in common and I'd love to be friends! Feel free to add me on Facebook. I'd love to talk about Jesus and missions with you :) I was taken a back. Like Pinterest? Like the greatest thing known to the Internet world was used as a tool for God {Mind=Blown}. So my natural response was to add her on Facebook.
Side note on why I add random people on Facebook: After my whole abortion post and some of the weirdos from that, I no longer fear who I add. I figure I can always delete them... or file a restraining order.
So anyway, I add this girl on Facebook. Right off the bat I just knew we were going to be friends. I spent a good hour talking to her and I don't think I shared that much of myself with a complete stranger before {Unless you count those who read my blogs, lol}.
God though is moving in a mighty way.
Amanda
“Since
God is for God, and God is ultimately about the praise of His glorious
grace… God is not after my begrudging submission but after my joy." -Matt Chandler
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