Welcome to the Journey: Extraordinary Mission

Wow! I actually surprised myself with actually continuing this series, pat on the back for me! Anyway if you are just tuning in feel free to check out my previous blog about my convictions for modesty, but without further ado let's continue this bad boy!

So for some time now I have had a stirring in my heart. I presume that this feeling is from the Lord but nonetheless that feeling is that of crazy adventure. Being that this year I'll be 20 {Don't have a heart attack mom} I have been searching for what God is calling me to do. Though in my mind I am pretty secure in the calling God has placed upon my life, I feel that there is still many things I need to do before reaching that calling.

1. My actual calling
     I figured this is important to actually tell you seeing as how everything that follows derives from it. When I was 15 I had the opportunity to speak in from of a large {Huge} crowd. Check it out here. At the time I wasn't really a Christian and barely even understood {And still don't} the magnitude that experience will have on my life currently and to come. But as I stood there with a trembling body and 25,000 teary eyes staring at me, I realized that I loved it. Now I recognize that God can use my talent of not being afraid to speak in front of total strangers to multiply His kingdom. I hope that my talent can be used to be a speaker at events such as what Christine Caine does or Beth Moore. I also love to write and would love to write books as well. Everything is in God's hands though.

2. Explorations Beyond Seas
     Though I don't necessarily see me doing overseas missions for massive periods of time{2+ years}, I do feel like God calls me to do oversea mission trips. I went to one two summers ago and fell in love with the Kenyan people. God really opened my eyes to where he really wanted me to be. For the past month or so my mine has reverted back to something that had been mentioned to me right before my trip. It is an 11 month expedition through 11 countries. I would literally be missing out on a year of college to witness the Glories of God in places like Romania, South Africa and Laos. As I sit here I am almost too excited to type. However, many people will ask why go? Why go all the way across the world to witness to people when there are lost and broken individuals here? This is why:

 

3. The Need to be Extraordinary
     Today as I sat in my small dorm room, killing time by doing the "typical" teen things I rustled with my thoughts on the idea of who I am. See for the last few months I have been being pulled in several directions. On one side I have been pulled towards the idea of not being enough, not being worthy of love, loyalty or trust. I had these ideas that I wasn't a good enough friend, sister, girlfriend or student. On the other side I felt a strong tug by God. A tug that shouted to me verses like Song of Solomon 4:7 "You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you." or Romans 5:8 "But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.", verses to remind me that I am nothing without Christ but everything with Him. Instead of choosing a side though, I fell into complacency and I stayed in the middle. The problem with being in the middle though is I search, I am continually searching for the peace, peace that only comes with be extraordinary. I thought being educated would make me extraordinary. I thought being well rounded would make me extraordinary, or being normal or being sinful or anything but the one thing. Today though I looked down at my hands and realized how extraordinary I am. The fact that I am a living testament for Psalm 139:13 "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.". I heard a quote the other day and I am not sure where it is from but it said something like "This Earth is not my home but while I am here I have a job to do." Christ clearly states this in John 15:16, He said, "You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name." So while I am waiting to go home I have a job to do. I have a job to allow Christ to be extraordinary through me. 

4.  You is Kind, You is Smart, You is Important 

     Like I stated in the previous chunk, I have a desire to be extraordinary. God doesn't  call us to be normal or to fit in. Even though I am excited to do a World Race, I still have to wait till the end of 2015 or 2016 when I am 21. In the mean time that means I have at least 1 and a half left of school. So what am I suppose to do for the next two years? I just sad I didn't want to be complacent. So as I wait I will listen to God more.
     You is Kind: Lately as I have heard attacks about my character, the conviction of whether or not I am kind enough will be a testament to my character. The answer deep down in my heart is that I don't think it is. I often am kind to adults but when I am around others I can be quite snobby. It has caused a stirring in my heart to be nicer to hold my tongue on sarcasm and cruelties. Will I fail at this? Yes but I am not going to stop until I succeed.
     You is Smart: If you have asked be how school is in the last month or so you've heard the terms "Ehhh, I learned a lot of life lessons." The truth is my studies really took a back burner this semester which is ridiculous seeing as how I am now paying for the education I am receiving. However I don't want to be just GPA smart, sure GPA gets you noticed in college and in my case keeps you from being kicked out but in the long run nobody is gonna care that you had a 3.99 GPA in college. Most people care more about what you have learned. Though I am not seeking to be extraordinary in my well roundedness, I am seeking to be well rounded still. I don't want to be ignorant of the world around me {A bonus to the world race} I want to experience everything God has to offer me.
     You is Important: Four years ago when I stood on that stage, I was the hot dog. I was very much assure of myself and my importance. However after some beatings spiritually and mentally it is harder to see where I am. In the last few months and years even like I explained in prior blogs that my desire to represent Christ in the best manor possible has been replaced with representing those "good Christians". Even after becoming a Christian though my need to be well liked and important amongst humans. I generally fail to realize when I am not important to them, that I am still important to God. In Matthew Christ says, "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.". It is still a hard lesson for me, as for every one else I presume, to not rest my importance solely in those around me and rest it solely on God. 



So as these next few months and years even, I ask that you pray for wisdom and guidance in continually seeking the Lord in my decisions. 





Amanda
"The moment when you realize that your seemingly ordinary life is actually quite extraordinary is when the magic begins"

AH! Birthday Boy!

Dear Sawyer,

Dude like what the heck you are 16! I cannot believe that 16 years today I walked into a hospital without a baby and walked out with one, Chelsea that is but you were a cool addition too! I am just kidding you're awesome.


Through our past 16 years we are the true meaning of what siblings look like. We might fight and we might not always get along but at the end of the day I know you're my brother and that you love me. I am constantly in amazement at what God has done in your life especially in the last few years. You are an incredibly raw kid {Ask mom what I mean by that}, but you feel everything in your heart. You are an individual who has learned very early on that he doesn't have to be like everyone else to be awesome. I consider you one of my best friends



As I picture the future with you as my sidekick, it makes me excited. I dream of days of seeing you graduating from bootcamp. I see days of you going off to serve our country. I see days when I will watch you get married and when we will raise our children together.

You are an incredibly young man with a big heart and I am glad that God blessed me with the oppertunity to be your big sister.


Love you and Happy Birthday!

Amanda :)

Welcome to the Journey: Modesty

Hola! And welcome to the Journey, as New Years is still in my rear view mirror, I am still searching for ways to better myself. Along with taking care of my physical appearance, God has really convicted me of taking care of my modest bodest. 


As a Christian girl who has been spending her time in the bible belt for a little while now, the idea of modesty is not a new concept for me. Modesty though in its essence is a has been a hard concept for me to grasp. However for awhile now God has really been dealing with my heart on the idea of modesty and purity. See they both goes hand and hand. Can you have one without the other, sure to a degree, but at the same time that line is very thin.


As a girl, I find that often I make excuse for the reason why I wear what I wear. Take for an example leggings and yoga pants. Both are extremely comfortable {I.e my excuse} but the other day while I sat amongst boys and I was the only girl the topic of yoga pants/leggings came up. I listened as very godly men begin to talk lustfully about another woman, a potential sister in Christ, simply because she was wearing leggings. As I dwelt upon it throughout the night I couldn't figure out why it bothered me so much that these boys were talking about leggings that way. They are just pants, what's the big deal? It hit me though circa 12am last night though. The reason it bothered me so was because I don't want to feel like an object nor be judge and chosen based upon my body and especially for the clothes that I wear.

In media today women are told to fight for the right to be heard and taken seriously. Many women condemn men for not taking us seriously but at the same time they go out dress provocatively and wonder why. Men are visual humans. When women wear pants that are literally like a second layer of skin, shirts that show off too much of their chest and shorts that are one inch away from being underwear, men no longer have the idea of wanting you simply because of your mind but for your body now too.


Awhile back a friend of mine sent me this video. As I first started to watch the video I was put back wondering why he was sending it to me. He was a dude and it was about bikinis. Now I'm not one to go out in a bikini mainly because I like food and it shows, but when I was thinner, I did. The video is by a women who created a bathing suit line that was modest and she discusses in the speech that she is given why. Check it out:

Then I didn't understand it but now I realize that this video was God ignite that fire in my heart again to strive to be pure. I don't want to cause my brothers in Christ to stumble by something as simple as the way I dress. I don't want to attract men simply by what I wear. I am so much more than what I wear but sometimes the things we clothe ourselves in distracts us from who we really are. I want to be a woman known more for her being clothed in the armor of Christ rather than barely clothed.

 
I guess what I am trying to get at, is not to condemn those who wear leggings, yoga pants or bikinis but to simply state this. For me, I imagine the day I will meet the man of my dreams. The man of my dreams looks a lot like Tim Tebow, and he doesn't want me because I strut down the beach in a "itsy bitsy" bikini or spend my days running errands in leggings and an over-sized sweatshirt, he doesn't want me because I wear dresses that are too tight and too short that little is left to the imagination or because when I lean over you can see way too much cleavage. He wants me because I am woman after God's own heart, a woman who is pure and represents Proverbs 31 to the best of her abilities. So as I move forward in 2014, I am going to try to look at my clothing and dress in a manor that is pleasing to God and that shows my dignity rather than my body.



Welcome to the Journey,
Amanda

Lost Get Found

Wednesday night as I was sitting in one of the recruitment events for Sigma Alpha Omega, a Christian sorority at my school, the hopeful sisters of mine delivered a commentary on a sermon in which they had heard at Passion 2014. The sermon was delivered by Christine Caine and it discussed the idea of being everything God has called you to be. Being that I am the person I am and find great enjoyment out of listening to sermons and various speeches, I just had to listen to some of Caine's sermons. I YouTubed her name and found the speech that she gave 2 years prior at Passion 2012. I only got five minutes into the speech until God spoke to me.

Caine was talking about how statistics dehumanize people and take away the magnitude of suffrage going on. She then brought up her own personal experience and this is where it hit me. A few years ago when Madeline was taken, Caine brushed it off until the name Sophia {one of Caine's daughter's name} was the name of a girl on a poster hanging by Madeline's poster, then suddenly the story was personal to Caine. She said that she once lost her daughter for 5 minute and how frantic and crazy she looked trying to find her. Her quote: "When something changes from a number or a statistic or someone on a poster to mine, everything changes. What wouldn't I do to find my girl, if that was my daughter? What wouldn't I give up? I remember we lost Sophia once in London on Oxford street for less than five minutes in a book shop. I ran out on Oxford street, I am standing on a mailbox screaming for my daughter. What wouldn't you do if it was your child that was lost? If it was your sister? If it was your... What wouldn't you do? You wouldn't care what you looked like, you wouldn't care what you'd have to give. You would do anything to rescue the one." And as I was listening to this quote it reminded me of a passage in Luke where Jesus confronts the Pharisees after they accused Him of welcoming sinners and eating with them {Luke 15:2}. Jesus goes on to deliver three parables of the lost sheep {Luke 15:3-7}, the lost coin{Luke 15:8-10}, and the parable of the lost son {Luke 15:11-31}. The parables lent to the simple idea that if even one soul is saved, Heaven will rejoice, no matter how significant that soul seems to us. The speech combined with the bible verses and an earlier conversation with a good friend made me wonder "What am I doing to find the lost?"

I admit many of the times the first sight of a child being missing churns my stomach but soon I push it to the back of my radar and move forward. I do the same thing when I think about the lost. According to Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life, in 2010 2.18 billion people claim to be Christians in the World, which in 2010 was 1/3 of the world, that means 2/3 of the world is lost. 4.72 billion people are going to hell and spending eternity there, that is assuming that the 1/3 of the population who claims to be Christians were actually saved Christians. Yet,what am I doing?

Today while eating lunch with my good friend, Meredith, her and I discussed our testimony for SAO. I was telling her how most of my "lost years" I knew I was running from God. I knew what God wanted for my life and yet I ran and was ashamed of Him. I then went on to say even in my Christian walk I find my self still running from Him {I'm stubborn} often. Meredith made a profound statement, she said "Well we all are, technically we should be able to stand up and shout the gospel right now, but we don't." I mean in a very stupid excuse for not shouting the Gospel, we have been conditioned that doing so is unacceptable in today's culture, even so if we use this excuse what stops us from sharing the Gospel in a more intimate fashion. I mean sure, a majority of my friends know where I stand in my walk. But yet, what am I doing?


I imagine that if my cousins Jordan or Allie or my brother were kidnapped or missing, I would do anything, stop at nothing and risk everything to get them home. Our attitude towards the lost should be the same. Each of those 4.72 people who are lost, are our brothers and sister, they are missing from our Father's home. Are we risking our status, comfort or safety to find the lost? Are we going to the ends of our town,  our state, our country, or the earth to tell them? Are we treating them like our lost brothers and sister who are hopeless, scared, and in the dark? Most likely we aren't, at least I know I am not. It's difficult and uncomfortable, I know. However, our Father stopped at nothing, risked everything and did everything to get us back. The least we can do is tell the 4.72 about it.



-Amanda


Resources for this blog:

Christine Caine's Passion 2012 Speech
Luke 15
Pew Forum

Late Night Thoughts.

It's late at night, or early in the morning whatever one you want to choose. As I sit here in my empty dorm room, listening to the sounds of my restless peers and thinking whether I should watch netflix or go to sleep, these are the top 10 things I am thinking about:

1. Why does it sound like a rollarcoaster/amusement park outside my window
    Yes, I know I live at ECU but seriously y'all it isn't amusement park fun.
2. Man, I really like salsa
    It's like life, it may have even replaced Nutella
3. I hope my grammar gets better with my Media Writing class
    Because let's face it, y'all read my blogs, I need it. 
4. I forgot my forks with Meredith
    This saddens me.
5. I am the greatest best friend
     Mainly because I am an awesome gift giver and my best friend is going to love her gift(s)
6. I love giving gifts
     Literally knocked at several gifts for people and I think they'll die with love
7. When and who is my new roommate
     Like it's been 3 days now, where is you?
8. Everything hurts, why do I need to work out
     My back, my feet, my core, my legs...
9. Oh because I am a Fat Kid
      Salsa. 
10. Why am I able to be an adult
     Nail polish on the furniture and a leaking fridge with water on the floor, this semester is starting off lovely.


-Manders :)

Happy Saturday!

Hey y'all!

A quick update: So I just got back to school today and I am settling into my room now that my old roommate has moved out. I am loving the way my room looks I am just hoping it is practical the way it is setup. Tonight I went to the basketball game to watch ODU beat ECU (Cue booing) and tomorrow Court and I head off to Integrity Church.

HOWEVER! This is not why I write to you today. My purpose in writing to you is to gather your opinion on future blog post. Over the past few weeks I have been fumbling with an idea in my head. Obviously I am not going to tell you the idea (It would ruin the surprise) however based upon some vague clues I need your opinion on whether or not you want me to write it in a series setting or just write the one. If I wrote it in a series I would probably name the subtitle something like this "And other Lies Society Teaches us". So feel free to comment below :)



Love yours truly,
Manders

Broken

Just like most days, today ideas pop into my head, words stuck out and stories shaped my view of the finite being that I am. As I am on this growing expedition, I am realizing what I had been missing the last few months in the sense of what it feels like to just live rather than existing amongst tragedies. Lately, I have been examining my life; things like where did I fall off the road? How do I feel about that? etc, have been floating around my head. I've realized everyone of those questions revert back to the very real truth of my life, that is, Christ has broken me. As a sinful Christian I believe that being broken is a very real part of the walk. Christianity is not an easy life to live and anyone who tells you differently isn't doing it right or is lying to you. Nonetheless, God has been breaking me down piece by piece reverting back to April, almost two years ago. Almost two years ago a good friend of mine died in a car accident. Ever since then the feeling of lost-ness has been strangely abundant.

"Patience is a key virtue" is something I tend to say, sadly every time I say it I am reminded of what little patience I do have. I rush a lot of the aspects in my life, I am a result kind of girl. I miss out on the journey because I am so ready to see where I'll be and After losing my friend having the patiences to heal wasn't something I even attempted to do. I almost felt guilty for feeling so broken by it as I did, like how dare I, someone who had only known this girl for a few short few months, be allotted the time to feel this pain. Truth was though, daily I think about her, daily I think about our last conversation, the numbness I felt the day I found out she died or the pain that pierced my every vein and muscle at her visitation. Nothing was ever the same since then. I realize now though that I have to allow myself time to heal.


Today my best friend was telling me a story on where she was explaining the reason she didn't like my ex was because of how he broke me. As she told me the story I felt my big-bad self shouting "No he didn't break me, he couldn't have, he doesn't have that much control" the truth is, there's part of me he did break. The thought of reuniting with him is tarnished with bitterness. The idea of seeing him, hurts. He isn't a bad guy and his intentions might have been good, but in the end I was left broken. For the past few months I have been trying to hide that pain and brokenness under anger and strength. I realize now though that I have to allow myself time to heal.


As I talk about old friends, friends whom a year ago I was inseparable with, friends who I thought were my ride or die, friends who are now someone I try to avoid, I am sadden. No one ever wants to lose a best friend, ever, especially in such a way that is sudden and confusing. No one defiently doesn't want to lose almost a dozen of them in one shot. For the last few months I have covered that up with sarcastic remarks and accusations.I realize now thought that I have to allow myself time to heal.


It's easy to allow people to harm you. Which sounds weird saying, especially people whom you entrust your heart and soul to. You want them to be unhuman like and act as if they aren't ran by selfish motives caused by sin. The magnificent thing about it is this, God uses that brokenness, that pain and that heartache to radically change your life. He did that with  mine. Even though people dating back to my grandparents and coming ahead to the recent ones I have forgiven, the pain they caused is forever imprinted onto my heart because it is a lesson in which God has used. 


Brokenness isn't just caused by sinful people. It can be caused by lost or illness. God is a wonderful healer of the heart though if you just give it to him.

Jesus replied "You don't understand what I am doing, but someday you will." John 13:7

Amanda :)