Made New!

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come

[2 Corinthians 5:17]

Hola Peeps!

I wish I could transfer my excitement fully through a computer screen but I can't so just know I am super excited. 

Though tomorrow is the day in which I am truly excited for I decided [Due to already knowing how hectic tomorrow will be] that I would go ahead and write to you explaining to you why so you can also be excited along with me [And pray]. Tomorrow marks a day of new beginnings, new adventures, a fresh start if you will. 

Tomorrow I will be moving into the dorm which I will spend my second year of college in. My school supplies have been bought and [mostly] everything is packed. Tomorrow at 7:30 AM I will be loading up a van and heading back to Greenville.  Yay! I cannot even explain to you how pumped I am to get started on this year. I've expressed to you the heartache I have had over the last year and finally I am at a place where the doom and gloom cloud has passed and I am taking in the radiant light of Jesus once again. 

Speaking of the awesome Lord I serve! The BIGGEST reason and without question the most important reason I am excited for tomorrow is it's my birthday! I'll be four! 

I know what you're thinking! 'Four Amanda? Tomorrow? I thought your birthday is in September and I thought you were turning 20. Like didn't you just write a blog post about turning 20 soon???' You're right, but my fourth birthday coming up tomorrow is far more important than my 20th. 

Four years ago today was a Sunday. I remember vividly the dark room filled with a bunch of teenagers. The song Hosanna was playing and right there in C3's teen auditorium I handed my life over to Jesus Christ. Since then it's been a roller-coaster that only goes up [Thank you Fault in Our Stars for that catch phrase]. I wish we could all just sit around a cup of coffee and talk about the amazing things Christ has done in each of our lives because at least for me I could go on for days. In the last year God has shown me just how much He loves me even when running away from Him is the only thing I feel like doing. God has taught me hard lesson but He has also brought people into my life to shepherd me and grow me in the likeness of Him. I am so excited to see what the next year and so on holds as I try to seek Him daily and bring Glory to His name. 

So in light of my fourth birthday and happy move in day have a cup of coffee or tea and a cupcake for me! 

XOXO

Mandacakes

The Greatest Man

There's been many great men in history. Some conquered empires. Some changed social order. Others changed the world as we knew it. However this isn't about any of them. This is about one man who did all that.

He grew up with not much. Many of his summers were spent on his family farm. He didn't particularly excel in school. After graduating from his town's high school he headed to the Navy. He worked hard and partied even harder.  After one of his tours he was tricked into going on a date with a beautiful curly haired manager at the Dollar Store. A few years later he put a ring on it and they married in the middle of September. This is about the time that his journey began to change.

Nearly 5 years after he married the curly brunette they welcomed a little girl. He probably didn't know it as he held her abnormally large and stretched out head that he would radically change a world.

Nearly 20 years later that baby girl knows for a fact that she would not be where she is with out that man.

His rough hands taught her so much. They taught her how to pitch a softball, bait a hook, and iron a shirt the navy way. They clapped at her games and when she stood in front of a 25,000 people to share her success. They brushed away tears when life knocked her down.

His eyes watched as she flourished and they saw when she was going to fall. They cried the day she walked across the stage and gathered her diploma. They watched her soar and watched her fall.

His lips spoke truth into her life; truth of the gospel and a man far greater than him and the saving grace he offered on a wooden cross 2,000 years ago. His lips built up her character and self esteem. His lips taught lessons. His lips made her laugh.

Day by day, month by month, year by year he changed the world of a little brown eyed girl. He helped her conquer the demons that lived within. He helped change the social order of her life.

Sometimes daddy doesn't even know how much he changed my life. To the world he may not be much. He doesn't make much money and he doesn't have degrees hanging on the wall. He can't send me all around the world and give me everything my wicked heart desires. He did however changed my world. He spent more time developing my character then money on me. He cares more about be being kind and displaying Christ than making loads of money and being well-known. I am who I am because he chose to be active father in my life than a sideliner. He is the first man I loved. The first man to hold my hand. The first man to tell me he loved me. The first man to tell me how proud of me he is. He had every excuse to be lousy father but he chose to be better.


So daddy as you celebrate your birthday today working hard to provide for us just know this, if you ever doubt if you are a good father,  know you're the greatest. If you ever doubt whether you are a good man, know you're the best kind. If you ever doubt whether you are loved, know you are far more loved than words could express.




Happy Birthday Daddy!

Love you!

Your daughter,
Amanda

Bumper Guilt

Preblog: So I wanted to awkwardly apologize for my M.I.A status the last three months. It's summer so do I need to say more? I'd like to say I'd blog more but honestly as school begins to pick up I have no clue how much time I will have dedicated to blogging. Writing has and will always be a source of release for me. I do this in many forms and blogging is just one of them. Maybe I can start posting my short stories for y'all! Anyway, I wanted to make that disclaimer before this blog.

In true life fashion the relationships in my life have evolved rather quickly the last year. If I go WAAAYYY back they've always done this in my life. As I grew up many factors played into the rapidly changing relationships. Sometimes it was moving that erupted this friendships. Other times it was just the relationship took it's course.

Tonight one of my good friends texted me talking about her relationships. She is completely different from me when it comes to relationships. She's a wide-open extrovert who could probably make friends with a tree if the situation called for it. She's the person that knows everybody and talks to everybody. She's the type of person that will hold you if you cry whether she knows you or not and the type of person who will stop you to ask you your name. She's completely understanding of people and willing to forgive (Thank goodness cause we'd probably wouldn't be friends if it weren't for that quality). Most times I am extremely jealous of this aspect in her personality.

I, much like I stated above, am very different from her. I'm nice but I'm rarely the person who will make idle conversation with strangers. Small talk drives me insane, I am more of a deep-let-me-tell-you-about-my-life person. I love to learn about people in a non-basic manner. I like the meat and potatoes. Though I am jealous of my friend's extrovertness, I wouldn't change this about me.

However my friend came to me tonight and told me how I really am the only friend she possess. The only person she can tell her problems to. The only person besides close family members that she trust. Everyone else is just mere acquaintances.

This made me immensely guilty.

Why?

I already trust you.

By the time we've hung out outside of usual places I've already scoped you out. I've made a judgement and determined that I want that friendship. So by then I already have a sense of trust. With that trust my life pours out.

With that being said the bigger the issues I don't spill to everyone. I do have a filter. But I have several people in my life that I can go to with an issue in my life and get an opinion. I have the friend who will call me everyday after my life felt like it was crumbling to pieces to pray for me. I have that friend who will beat up anyone who hurts me. I have another friend just to tell me it will be alright. I have friends who will let me be anger for a bit. Friends who will tell me to get over it. Friends who will take me to the bible. I have mentors and family.

So when this friend told me this I felt a pang of guilt. I have for awhile. I feel the need to chose a best friend and as selfish as it sounds, I don't want to nor do I think they want me to either. The guilt however with her came from the idea that she solely relies on me and I don't on her. My full trust rides on the unchanging God I serve but I also rely on my bumpers aka my best friends, mentors, and family for their advice and guidance.

I guess that's just where my heart is tonight. I look at those relationships around me and I am amazed at how they God orchestrated them into existence. I look at those relationships that are no longer; some sadden me that they ended the way they did, others I am grateful for them being ended by a divine God who knows far more than I'll ever know. I pray God will morph the relationships into ones that both serve Him and bring Him glory. Everyday I thank God for the blessings of great friends, wonderful mentors, and a kick-butt family.


XOXO
Mandacakes



P.S What would you like for me to write? Comment on Facebook or below :)

My New Self

Hey Readerettes (and Readers)!

I am so thrilled to be writing y'all. I've been MIA for awhile which is strange seeing as how my New Years Resolutions was to write on my blog weekly but I failed (oops). Anyway I am just so excited to be writing this blog post. If you have followed my blog from the beginning (Or you could just go back and read) you would notice the roller-coaster ride my life has been on really for the last year. My last blog that I wrote was the 100 things I've learned in the last 365 days. One of the big lessons I learned is just being me and daily being a better version of who I was yesterday.


Needless to say this takes work. This just doesn't happen over night (Lord knows that I wish it did). Every night though I go to be wishing for better things. I'd imagine a world where my heart didn't hurt and I didn't feel stuck. Every morning though I'd arise and quickly scramble to remind myself that I wasn't making any progress, that my heart was still broken, and that nothing good was going to come out of my life. WRONG WRONG, LIES AMANDA LIES! However some major events have happened in the last month that completely and utterly came to ahead Monday night sitting in my car heading to Wal-Mart.

The Identity Crisis

A little over a month ago I was having a "discussion" with my parents. Mainly it was a talk on how, um vocal I had become and how disrespectful it was beginning to be. It ended with me in tears once again because I knew no longer who I was. Logically I knew all the things God spoke about His children and that was truly who I was but in my heart I didn't believe it. God surely couldn't love a messed up person like me. Then a dear lady who lives down the street from us who likes to walk at high paces said to me "Amanda I know it hurts but what they say about you isn't true." and then another lady from church told me the same thing she said "Amanda, I see you at church and I notice you are on the right path, don't let those words change that." 

Praying for Joy

After my first roommate left I had about a month to wallow in self-pity alone. Not that that really had anything to do with moving forward other than my next roommate that came in was named Joy. My Aunt chuckled when I told her. She said it was funny that God knew I needed some Joy. But Joy was no where to be found in this little bitter heart of mine. However after realizing that my issues no longer lied in the hands of those who had caused my misery but in my hands that continued to wage the war of bitterness after forgiveness, I knew that to allow my heart to change I needed to pray for joy-the emotion not that I don't pray for Joy-the person. I've always thought that maybe people kind of saw me as uptight which lead to being unhappy and that always made me feel a little uneasy. I felt like I lacked joy which is something you shouldn't lack with Christ. So I began each day by saying "Jesus please keep me from temptation and fill my heart with joy." 

A Newfound Sense of Joy

I didn't think it was working at all, the prayers. Yeah, I felt happy some but not really what I thought joy was suppose to feel like which brings me to my point of Monday night. If you didn't know my family is in this process of adopting 2 little boys and some sad news came our way. I walked out of the house with tears streaming down my face. I was angry, so angry. I was so ready to yell and scream at God when I got into the car, well I was actually just gonna ignore him mostly. Ignoring God, what a thought. I turned on the radio though and this came on 

and suddenly my joy was there. I praised God for being gracious enough to allow me to feel hurt and pain. I praised Him for giving me far more than I deserve on the other side of pain.

Putting Off The Old Self and Putting On The New Self

My year has been a journey. One of those who likes to criticize me criticized me for putting the lessons I learned on the internet he says that is doesn't do anything nor show my character. Nor do I want it to. I want you to find out for yourself the change God has done in my life. I am growing daily. I have great friends who pour biblical truths into my life. I have a new mentorship with a fantastic woman of God. I have still the great family who strives daily with me to a better version of myself. But daily I must ask God to restore in me a love, gracious, pure, joyous, sacrificial, selfless, committed, respectful self and daily He does. So I pray and ask for your prayers as I continue forth. Pray for the bettering of myself both spiritually, mentally, and physically. 

-A

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me {Psalm 51:10}

1 Year

It's amazing what 365 days can do to a girl.

A year ago today I walked across a stage and took hold of my high school diploma. I watch my friends graduate and we celebrated.

I had dreams and visions for my life. Honestly those hopes and dreams were completely and utterly shattered this past year. Praise God for that.


A year ago my idea of my life was to live my life with my best friends at the time, marry that boy I had wanted for most of my high school career, get a degree in Political Science, have a family, and become the first female President. On the flip side I also wanted to embrace the notorious reputation that East Carolina University held as a party school. I had visions of partying and drinking and sex. I was running from God fast and furious a year ago.

As much as my outer self kept me together, my inner self was bursting with worldly passions. I didn't know who or what I was anymore but I put on a wonderful show.

Like I said, it's amazing what 365 days will do to a girl.

In 100 days though I will hit another milestone. Adulthood.

Legally I have hit this milestone over a year ago but in 100 days I will hit the big 2-0. So in light of that here is 100 things that the past year has taught me.

01. God is greater than anything I could imagine

02. God's plans are greater than anything I could wish for

03. In the friendship game, it's better to have 4 quarters than 100 pennies

04. The first boy you love may not be the last boy you love

05. It's okay to hurt, it's not ok to become bitter

06. Real friends build you up

07. Fake friends seek to destroy you

08. A Good Family is worth more than all the diamonds in the world

09. If you won't move out of your seat, God will place someone next to you that stinks

10. Sometimes new friendships come out of the most random circumstances

11. Even when you don't feel it, God loves you

12. God has a sense of humor, sometimes you just need to learn to laugh

13. Praying friends are better than friends who offer you a shoulder

14. Discipline hurts

15. College: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

16. God doesn't always prune us gently

17. If it feels wrong, it most likely is

18. God doesn't offer us the spirit of timidity, Satan sells that, don't buy it

19. Don't place your identity in Christians, place it in Christ

20. If they talk about others to you, they'll talk about you to others

21. Always remember you may be the only true example of Christ others see

22. Starbucks is really expensive

23. Just cause you have money, doesn't mean you should spend it

24. Watch what secrets you entrust to others

25. Sometimes if people can't tear you down with the truth, they'll make stuff up. Don't believe it

26. You're free to have joy

27. Sometimes being heard isn't the most important thing

28. Forgiveness doesn't always equal friendship

29. Some people don't care that they hurt you, still forgive them

30. Forgiveness is something you need to do daily

31. Don't allow others to control what you do

32. Don't paint your nails and leave the bottle on the edge of your bed

33. Nail polish is hard to clean up

34. Sometimes crying is all you can do

35. People are always watching

36. Just because they are adults, doesn't mean they act like it

37. Praise God when you are rich, praise Him even more when you are poor

38. Writing a book isn't as easy as it sounds

39. Trust everyone, but don't let it change you if they break that trust

40. Charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting

50. Painting is calming

51. I have some artistic bone

52. Humility is a hard pill to swallow, do it anyway

53. Keep the end in mind

54. Keep your head held high

55. Praying is too important to do only at meals and before bed

56. Praising God in the midst of pain is so very sweet

57. The worldly things make look like chocolate but really it's just nicely decorated mud

58. Name alone doesn't make someone a Christian

59. People throw rocks at things that shine (Thanks T-swizzle)

60. A true friend will apologize for hurting you, not blame you

61. Subtweeting leads nowhere good

62. Surround yourself with God's word

63. Lean on God's people

64. Modesty is the best policy

65. Don't just think about chasing God, actually start running

66. Everyone you meet is a new opportunity to learn something new

67. Change sucks going through it, but is awesome when it's done

68. There's a difference between caring and being nosey

69. Mom is truly my best friend

70. Dad is my protector of everything my physical being to my character

71. When you aren't watching your little brother becomes a man

72. Weird is awesome, embrace it

73. Disney movies aren't that bad

74. You will change your major

75. Caring about the opinions of others who don't care about you, is a waste of time

76. Don't look at their social media

77. Laughter is really a good cure

78. Believe that God has and is meeting your greatest need

79. Sometimes family isn't about shared DNA and last names at all but of who is there and loves you

80. God's revenge is the best and easy revenge, so let Him handle it

81. Some people want to help, let them

82. Let go of anger

83. Let go of sadness

84. Let go of the past

85. Christ conquered all, stop trying to too

86. Just cause it's comfortable doesn't mean it's right

87. My future husband is far better than the man in my head

88. A job, a house, a car, a husband, children etc. will come in time. In the mean time grow in God

89. Learn new things

90. Be the person you always wanted but do it with a Gospel heart

91. Talk is just talk, don't let false words change you

92. You have far more people in your corner than you think

93. Even if you don't have people in your corner, God is in your corner so who else do you need?

94. Maturity is a lifestyle not just a destination

95. Tragedies don't prove maturity, how you handle said tragedies do

96. There truly is more fish in the sea, don't get hooked on one

97. Take care of your body, it's housing the King of Kings

98. Work hard

99. It's far better to work hard and get it right the first time then make up for it later

100. Today is a new day with new graces

-A

News Flash

I literally cannot deal with the news anymore. It gets me more angry than anything to sit and watch it. It is sad that someone can't oppose a view without getting fined, hated on, or what have you for that view. It's sad in such a "Progressive" nation that we spend more time bashing each other than actually reporting news, making the world a better place etc. Honestly to me it's gotten old the constant debate between homosexual supporters and non-homosexual supporters. We quite literally have the SAME DEBATE every month at least once a month.  Honestly though, it's us (As Christians) fault. We spend more time discussing what we are against. More time belittling, hating, etc. on those who's ideas don't match with ours that we have caused our own problems. Here me, I will say it slower (As slow as you can in text)

 We. Are. The. Problem.

It isn't the homosexual agenda.

It isn't the muslims. 

It isn't Obama. 

It isn't social media. 

It isn't athetist. 

It isn't the lost. 

It isn't the government. 

It isn't the world. 

It isn't the methodist. 

...The baptist.

...The Nazarenes.

... The Presbretrines. 

It isn't the church down the street. 

It isn't your enemy. 

It is us. 

Why? You ask. Here's why:

1. Nobody knows what we stand for

     What do you stand for? Think about it. Was the first thing you though of Jesus? Or was it your political agenda? Was it pro-life instead of pro-choice? Was it your traditional views of marriage? Chances are if you are anything like me your mind instantly went to your political agenda then your denomination and how you could defend either if this question turn wrong. That's a problem. As Christians we should know that Christ wins. Our government is going to fall. Our dominance as a religion in this country is going to fall. However in the end, Christ reigns on. So shouldn't our stance be for Jesus and His ways rather than arguing to the death pointless stuff. Shouldn't our ideals be to love people who differ from us in such a way that they have no choice but you investigate further what pushes that much love inside of us?

2. We stink of hate

     I love every once in awhile playing the devils advocate on Facebook. I like coming off as if I am going to bring in another view point and when someone questions it in a defense manor, I pull a plot twist. Yes, I know I am wrong for doing this and as Robin always says "Nobody asked you Patrice", however it's usually to bring up the point of smelling hate. I complete understand that there are other out there who "Hate on Christians" but let me ask you this... Who called them to love? Chances are if they are hating on Christians, they aren't following Christ so whomever has called them to love or tried to teach them to love has a skewed view of what love truly is. There idea of love is dirty, broken, and quite honestly a hot mess. However, we as Christians have a far great example of love. Our love is pure and Holy. The one who called us to love is love Himself. Now with those goggles on why is it that we are quick to jump on the hate train when our views are challenged. Why is it when our "muslim president" decides to support gay marriage that suddenly that gives us the right to persecute those who agree with him. NEWS FLASH, it doesn't. One of the many pastors that I enjoy listening too is the college pastor at a church in the town I attend school at. He once, while discussing spiritual warfare, said something on the lines of this The battle we are in is not in the flesh but in the spirit. When Christ said turn the other cheek, it was meant to remind us that this battle isn't one that can be fought in the physical, so turn the other cheek because far more energy needs to be focused on the spiritual than on the physical. So to end this section let me ask you this. What good would it do when met with opposition from someone who was let's say gay came to you and you decided rather than chastising them for their sins, you loved them, you showed them Christ?  

3. You're selling them an iPhone when they are getting a Nokia

     So metaphor alert! This really has been revealed to me the last few months. I realized that in American culture, Christians have the tendancies to sell lost individuals this lushes ideal of the Christian life. They sell them a version of the Genie God (A God that if you rub him the right way and give enough money to the pastor you'll recieve happiness and everything you ever wanted), The get out of pain free card (The idea that Christian life is easy-breezy-cover girl lifestyle), or the Perfectionism Life (Where you have to be perfect to be a Christian or you can't sit with us life). All three are wrong. God is a gracious God. He will provide for you but we must remember if the only thing we get from Him is eternity in His presence, that has to be enough. We can't rely on the idea that if we say enough prayers, give enough money, or attend enough church events that God is going to lavish us with big houses, expensive cars, and loads and loads of happy days (Did Fonzie just pop in your head? Cause he did mine). The Christian life is also not an easy one and why should it be? Christ calls us to pick up our cross and follow Him. I don't know if you know this or not but that wasn't Him saying life is going to be easy. Just because you say a prayer and get dunked and attend church and read your bible does that grant you the privilege of living a life with out the impact of sin around. Trials and pain in our lives are however there for a purpose. They aren't there to punish you but to show you areas in your life where growth needs to be met. James says this "Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything". Trials lead us to holiness and Christ likeness. Lastly perfection doesn't happen over night. Perfection is something that God works on in us so when we meet Him in heaven we are perfect. So this whole idea that Christians some how live perfect lives above sin is B.S and we need to cut that crap out. I have seen more people use that against us on why they don't come to church than anything. We need to stop being pansies about our trials, struggles and pains and need to be like "Look, I am a mess but I got the greatest cleaner around and He's making me new". The Christian lifestyle isn't fancy in world standards. Sometimes we are lame, weird, boring etc. to the outside world. We aren't iPhones. We however have an indestructible life. We live the life of a Nokia. 

So with that being said, I am going to step off my soapbox now. I encourage you dear brothers and sisters of mine to work towards a life that resembles the life of Christ rather than the life of this world with Christ as your blanket shield. I understand it's difficult. But we weren't promised easy streets. I fail daily at trying to love my neighbors and those around me. Pray for me as I pray for you. 

Love you a  bushel and a peck,

Amanda  

Proverbs 31 Gal

Part 1: A New Blog Series and A Revised New Year's Resolutions

I realized this weekend that I did exactly what I didn't want to do January 1st. I broke ALL, okay maybe not all, I kept most of the easiest ones, New Year's Resolutions. However, it isn't even half way through 2014 so I realized I still have time to redeem myself. As I reflected though on where I went wrong or what I could do better I realized a few things. 

1. When I made the resolutions, I was trying to fix me, not allowing God to do so 

2. When I made the resolutions, I wasn't over everything. In fact, I was still a hot HAM. 

3. I hadn't taken it to God to figure out what I actually needed to do. In fact I kind of just did it and hoped He'd jump on bored. 

As I considered all these things I realized why this last week I have felt completely, not myself. I was  finding myself slip into familiar territory of religious acts. So I said Screech, hold up, back up and reverse.

I began to think why I wanted to do resolutions. The answer was simple, I wanted to be better in 2014 than I was in 2013, isn't that everyone's reason? Anyway I didn't want to just be better, ultimately my heart wanted to better in Christ. I don't think my resolutions demonstrated a heart after God. SO (I feel like I said So a lot) I decided to figure out what exactly God says about me being a better woman in Christ. Low and behold (That's for you Mom) I came across Proverbs 31. So for the next couple of blog post, I will be laying out my revised 2014 Resolutions based on Proverbs 31 and tips and tricks. 

Loves

A :) 

Look for Proverbs 31 blog series tomorrow :)