Hey y'all!
So I wanted to take the time to give a quick update.
If you read my 2014 Resolutions you would know that I wanted to start writing a book amongst other resolutions.
Though many of the resolutions I have already failed at writing a book has seemingly been one of the ones I kept.
A few weeks ago I had a Christian Ah-Ha moment. It was magical. God revealed several things to me that week and one of the things was the idea for my book.
Ah exciting!! :)
Anyway I have {So I think} a lot of people who read my blog who don't see me on a regular basis and I use my blog to kind of keep up with them. This includes my ideas for my book. So I thought it would be nice to give you the names of my chapters.
Mind you the whole book is a work in progress in which I am seeking God and His guidance. I don't want to write a word or even a book for that matter that isn't blessed by Him and isn't ultimatum for His Glory. My gift I truly feel is the ability to use my words both written and oral words. I want to use every last bit of them to glorify my Father. So with that in mind, these chapters might change and the big idea behind them might change but right now I feel this is what God is calling me to write about.
Chapter 1: Why I felt lead to write this book
Chapter 2: Stop Running to Things that Don't Call your Name
Things like people, stuff, addictions etc.
1 Samuel 3:1-10
Chapter 3: Run Away from Earthly Greatness and great plans
Never use God's greatness and His plans for personal pride
John 13 Serving is Success
Chapter 4: Let God be Enough
Psalm 3:3-5
Chapter 5: Run with Your Calling
1 Corinthians 12
Chapter 6: Run Towards His Love
John 14:1-2
Chapter 7: Christian Race is a Mud Race
Luke 9:23
So stay tune for more :)
Amanda :)
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Education
Honestly, the thing that has been a constant irratation of me this week is the lack of education amongst people.
It all started with my American History professor this week when he went on SEVERAL rants about Christianity and all of which had false pretenses.
Honestly, you want to know why our country has gone down in flames? It starts with the lack of History.
Sadly, if most people would take the time and truly educate themselves, not being spoon fed by others, but truly educated themselves on the history of America and the World, you would learn from the mistakes of those before us. BUUTTT NOOOOOO! People don't want to live in the past!
Guess what y'all you are.
By perpetually ignoring our history you are perpetually making the same mistakes that others made before.
Heck, let's just removed historical education and just leave it at education.
By not educating one's self they are literally expecting to be given the information correctly.
Don't expect Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, Matt Lauer whomever to give you honest information, because they won't.
Don't simply rely on educators to unbiasedly give you information because most of the time they won't, instead read, educate yourself.
Read liberal news and conservative news. Read radical blogs and cookiecutter blogs.Watch documentaries.
Learn the difference between each of the biased views, because trust me each view is biased.
Not to toot my own horn but often times people are blown away when I tell them GPA speaking in high school I was a B average student.
I'm just not book smart.
But then again other than a degree what is being taught and regurgitating information gonna do for me if I can't form my own ideas and my own opinions.
A majority of Americans are plagiarizers and they don't even know it.
Politically this runs on both sides of the asisle.
They take others' argument and make them their owns.
I love to argue with people and you generally see this happen.
I can actually give you the stance on many arguements:
Amanda
It all started with my American History professor this week when he went on SEVERAL rants about Christianity and all of which had false pretenses.
Then today I was reading a status where a kid I know said
1. We should have a Revolution
2. We should have a Revolution every 10 years
3. He believes in make love not war.
***Faceplant***
It made me think of something my dad has always told me. Educate yourself.
Now it's true a lot of my political views align with that of my father's but honestly I have always educated myself. Especially now.
However, this seems to be rather uncommon for those around me and it made me want to rant. So enjoy.
Honestly, you want to know why our country has gone down in flames? It starts with the lack of History.
Sadly, if most people would take the time and truly educate themselves, not being spoon fed by others, but truly educated themselves on the history of America and the World, you would learn from the mistakes of those before us. BUUTTT NOOOOOO! People don't want to live in the past!
Guess what y'all you are.
By perpetually ignoring our history you are perpetually making the same mistakes that others made before.
Heck, let's just removed historical education and just leave it at education.
By not educating one's self they are literally expecting to be given the information correctly.
Don't expect Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, Matt Lauer whomever to give you honest information, because they won't.
Don't simply rely on educators to unbiasedly give you information because most of the time they won't, instead read, educate yourself.
Read liberal news and conservative news. Read radical blogs and cookiecutter blogs.Watch documentaries.
Learn the difference between each of the biased views, because trust me each view is biased.
Not to toot my own horn but often times people are blown away when I tell them GPA speaking in high school I was a B average student.
I'm just not book smart.
But then again other than a degree what is being taught and regurgitating information gonna do for me if I can't form my own ideas and my own opinions.
A majority of Americans are plagiarizers and they don't even know it.
Politically this runs on both sides of the asisle.
They take others' argument and make them their owns.
I love to argue with people and you generally see this happen.
I can actually give you the stance on many arguements:
Abortion :
Conservative- It's murder; thou shall not murder,
You're going to Hell.
Liberal- It's just a clump of cells, it's a woman's right
Gay Rights:
Conservative- It's a sin
It's gross didn't you read Leviticus?
Liberal- You don't choose to love who you love
I will not eat at Chick-fil-A or shop at Hobby Lobby
Guns:
Conservatives: Guns don't kill people, people kill people
It's my constitutional right
Liberals: Guns cause violence
The list goes on.
Both sides think they are right.
Both sides will resort to name calling and hatred if argued with.
Sadly, this resorts from a lack of education on their part.
I love arguing with people whose views don't fall on the same lines as the cookie cutter views.
See the truth is if BOTH sides of the aisle took the time to educate themselves they would know that on average women find out they are pregnant week 4-7 and on week 5 the baby's spinal cord, heart and other organs begin to form. Oh and every human till they die are a clump of cells. They would also know that instead of bullying women who have had an abortion we should love them and care for them because it generally isn't a warm and fuzzy feeling when you get an abortion.
If BOTH sides of the aisle took the time to educate themselves they would know that yes homosexuality is a sin but so is adultery, divorce, gossip, lying, cursing, sex before marriage, lust, hatred etc. They would also know that though being gay isn't something you are born with it can be something you feel is out of your control due to rape, fatherlessness, etc. They would also know that hating those who are gay is just as much a sin as those who are actually gay. They would also know that just because we don't believe in it that we are afraid, hating etc. against gays, we just don't believe in it. Also they would know that as CHRISTIANS we aren't PERFECT we need just as much GRACE as you so please forgive us when we show that we are actually HUMAN and not GOD.
If BOTH sides of the aisle took the time to educate themselves they would know that Heart Disease causes 597,689 deaths a year yet you don't see anybody moving to abolish things that contribute to it like fatty foods, ALCOHOL, processed foods etc. Annually 42,000 people die in motor vehicle accidence. Yet, it is projected an average American will spend $22,000 on gas in their lifetime to fuel the on average $30k car they bought. On average there was 11,078 deaths caused by firearm homicide. Only 3.6 people out of 100,000 people would die as a result of firearm deaths.
So with all that being said. Educate yourself. Don't take the word of a faulty human as cold hard facts because trust me reporters, politicians and humans have been know to lie.
Until next time,
Amanda
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Why I Need to Stop Listening to Sermons
If you don't already know I am a dork. Many of the times I rather spend my days listening to sermons and/or documentaries and eating Nutella than going out and doing the "normal kid things".
One of my favorite types of sermons to listen to is sermons that are based upon relationships, particularly marriage. I know, I know many of you are like Whoa you need a husband first or Whoa you're too young to concern yourself with marriage. False.
I listen to relationship sermons for 2 reason, 1. Being that marriage is a direct relation to how Christ loves the Church {Eph. 5:23}, if I can get a better idea of how I should serve my husband, I can also understand how I am suppose to serve Christ and 2. One day I will date, one day I will find a hunky man who loves Jesus and I don't want to be scrambling to figure out just what the heck I am doing.
This love for relational sermons {BTDubs, these are't the only sermons I watch} came during my last relationship. One that I crashed in burn. Which brings me to the title:
One of my favorite types of sermons to listen to is sermons that are based upon relationships, particularly marriage. I know, I know many of you are like Whoa you need a husband first or Whoa you're too young to concern yourself with marriage. False.
I listen to relationship sermons for 2 reason, 1. Being that marriage is a direct relation to how Christ loves the Church {Eph. 5:23}, if I can get a better idea of how I should serve my husband, I can also understand how I am suppose to serve Christ and 2. One day I will date, one day I will find a hunky man who loves Jesus and I don't want to be scrambling to figure out just what the heck I am doing.
This love for relational sermons {BTDubs, these are't the only sermons I watch} came during my last relationship. One that I crashed in burn. Which brings me to the title:
*****WHY I NEED TO STOP LISTENING TO SERMONS*****
Today as I fiddled along listening to Mark Driscoll's sermon called "Real Marriage: The Respectful Wife". I started off like "OMG I got this in the bag, I am respectful." However only 20 minutes into not only did I feel convicted about prior relationships but I also felt convicted of my relationship towards my father and brother. I felt like "Wow Amanda, you're awesome... Not".
See particularly with my last relationship, I had been conditioned to think horribly about him already. Most of the time I was crushing on him I was defending his behavior. I already had in my heart what everyone thought about him and naturally I was always defending him. So coming into a friendship with him I didn't allow myself to get to know-know him, I just built on the negativity that I already had in my heart. So as we entered into a dating a relationship those assumptions followed. Most importantly I failed to respect him. I failed to honor him.
I do the same thing in my relationship with my father and my brother. I am always the first to jump on their case about them doing something stupid. I feel the constant need to remind my dad how forgetful he is or remind my brother how stupid he is.
With that being said, I need to stop listening to sermons because I feel convicted. Like that's a sucky feeling. Like my ego-centric attitude is being tore down and I can't deal. Like what do you mean this world doesn't revolve around me and my happiness?
Amanda:)
Check out Mark Driscoll's Sermon :)
Monday, February 10, 2014
Love of a Father and Unlikely Friends
Hey y'all!
So I wanted to take a break from my usual series post and talk about some awesome things that God is doing in my life.
This last week has been probably THE best week that I have had. Nothing fancy happened. All my problems didn't magically fix themselves, but I had an overwhelming sense of both joy and peace.
Two Thursdays ago is probably when all of it started. It was horrendous, like no joke.
I like to think of myself as having high character values but Thursday night I let them fall. I won't go into detail on what exactly happened, those who know, know. It was bad and like good parents my parents pulled me downstairs and made me cry.
Okay, it wasn't necessarily all them who made me cry. It was mostly God. Thursday night was the slamming of a book. The finishing chapter. The light at the end of the tunnel. As I found myself once again running from the God I loved, I heard Him calling.
God knew I was tired, weery and mostly just broken. He knew that as I ran my hell-bound race that clutched in my hands was the piece of my heart, destroyed by my own doing. All He did was whisper. "Stop running." I broke.
Jesus held me.
One of the many things I love doing {okay, don't really love doing} is when I am broken and hurt, is my father hold me. As I cry into his chest he just steadies me. That's exactly what Christ did.
Fast forward to Monday.
After my mom had dropped me off and my roommate was out, I figured it would be a great time to read my bible. As I was reading I realized that was what I was missing. For the past 5 and a half months {I know people are tired of hearing about this} just complaining to God and asking Him, Why me? So like any good Father, He punched me {I am being completely sarcastic, about a good father punches people}. God gave me a wake up call. He said "Amanda, stop asking why, stop seeking for ways to get revenge. I got this." So I did.
So Monday was AWESOME! Tuesday was just as good and Wednesday I realize now I needed to step out and be available to God.
So I am just gonna fast forward through my week I'll just jump over a conference and a book idea to head into a new unlikely friend.
As I road back with one of my good friends last night, I was reminded at how blessed I am. I have a few godly girls {My age, I seem to have a collective bunch of older ones too} that continually push my idea of Christ forward. They are the girls that I know I could run with any problem and they would 1. Point me back to Christ and 2. Give me the best biblical advice they can muster up. However, I am continually praying for more guidance and more godly influences in my life. I have also turned my "Why God, Why me?" into "What God, How can you use me?" God delivered.
The other day as I was scrolling through my Pinterest notification {I was that bored} I stumbled upon someone who had commented on my pin. I wondered at first what it could be and I even scrolled by it at first. However something pulled me back to it and I clicked it.
The message was from a girl in TN. She said: hey Amanda! I have been following you on Pinterest for a while and tonight the Lord really used some of your pins to speak to me.. I feel like we have a lot in common and I'd love to be friends! Feel free to add me on Facebook. I'd love to talk about Jesus and missions with you :) I was taken a back. Like Pinterest? Like the greatest thing known to the Internet world was used as a tool for God {Mind=Blown}. So my natural response was to add her on Facebook.
Side note on why I add random people on Facebook: After my whole abortion post and some of the weirdos from that, I no longer fear who I add. I figure I can always delete them... or file a restraining order.
So anyway, I add this girl on Facebook. Right off the bat I just knew we were going to be friends. I spent a good hour talking to her and I don't think I shared that much of myself with a complete stranger before {Unless you count those who read my blogs, lol}.
God though is moving in a mighty way.
Amanda
So I wanted to take a break from my usual series post and talk about some awesome things that God is doing in my life.
This last week has been probably THE best week that I have had. Nothing fancy happened. All my problems didn't magically fix themselves, but I had an overwhelming sense of both joy and peace.
Two Thursdays ago is probably when all of it started. It was horrendous, like no joke.
I like to think of myself as having high character values but Thursday night I let them fall. I won't go into detail on what exactly happened, those who know, know. It was bad and like good parents my parents pulled me downstairs and made me cry.
Okay, it wasn't necessarily all them who made me cry. It was mostly God. Thursday night was the slamming of a book. The finishing chapter. The light at the end of the tunnel. As I found myself once again running from the God I loved, I heard Him calling.
God knew I was tired, weery and mostly just broken. He knew that as I ran my hell-bound race that clutched in my hands was the piece of my heart, destroyed by my own doing. All He did was whisper. "Stop running." I broke.
Jesus held me.
One of the many things I love doing {okay, don't really love doing} is when I am broken and hurt, is my father hold me. As I cry into his chest he just steadies me. That's exactly what Christ did.
Fast forward to Monday.
After my mom had dropped me off and my roommate was out, I figured it would be a great time to read my bible. As I was reading I realized that was what I was missing. For the past 5 and a half months {I know people are tired of hearing about this} just complaining to God and asking Him, Why me? So like any good Father, He punched me {I am being completely sarcastic, about a good father punches people}. God gave me a wake up call. He said "Amanda, stop asking why, stop seeking for ways to get revenge. I got this." So I did.
So Monday was AWESOME! Tuesday was just as good and Wednesday I realize now I needed to step out and be available to God.
So I am just gonna fast forward through my week I'll just jump over a conference and a book idea to head into a new unlikely friend.
As I road back with one of my good friends last night, I was reminded at how blessed I am. I have a few godly girls {My age, I seem to have a collective bunch of older ones too} that continually push my idea of Christ forward. They are the girls that I know I could run with any problem and they would 1. Point me back to Christ and 2. Give me the best biblical advice they can muster up. However, I am continually praying for more guidance and more godly influences in my life. I have also turned my "Why God, Why me?" into "What God, How can you use me?" God delivered.
The other day as I was scrolling through my Pinterest notification {I was that bored} I stumbled upon someone who had commented on my pin. I wondered at first what it could be and I even scrolled by it at first. However something pulled me back to it and I clicked it.
The message was from a girl in TN. She said: hey Amanda! I have been following you on Pinterest for a while and tonight the Lord really used some of your pins to speak to me.. I feel like we have a lot in common and I'd love to be friends! Feel free to add me on Facebook. I'd love to talk about Jesus and missions with you :) I was taken a back. Like Pinterest? Like the greatest thing known to the Internet world was used as a tool for God {Mind=Blown}. So my natural response was to add her on Facebook.
Side note on why I add random people on Facebook: After my whole abortion post and some of the weirdos from that, I no longer fear who I add. I figure I can always delete them... or file a restraining order.
So anyway, I add this girl on Facebook. Right off the bat I just knew we were going to be friends. I spent a good hour talking to her and I don't think I shared that much of myself with a complete stranger before {Unless you count those who read my blogs, lol}.
God though is moving in a mighty way.
Amanda
“Since
God is for God, and God is ultimately about the praise of His glorious
grace… God is not after my begrudging submission but after my joy." -Matt Chandler
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Welcome to the Journey: Greatest Fear
At the young age of 19 I happen to wonder very often, "Am I normal?". The truth is most likely I am not but if I am also being honest, I don't want to be either. Normality according to the world's standards is seemingly bitter towards me sometimes.
Meritocracy was never something I was taught. I was never taught to fit in by my parents. I however did a lot of trying to fit in during my middle school and high school years. Sometimes even now I try to fit in with a group of people.
In today's world though being better than meritocracy is measured by money, popularity and achieving the "American dream". It is about having a least a two story home, 2 cars, a dog, a cat and 2.5 children. It is about having a degree to go to work in an office and rise up the corporate ladder. Or in the new generation it is about having so much money that you have no idea what to do with it.
As humans, particularly Americans, we chase this idea of power and being better. We fear the alternative.
I don't want that though.
See after the week I had this past week, I have been so clearly opened to God that my fears are no longer the same.
I don't fear being poor.
I don't fear not having an education.
I don't fear not being a good friend.
I don't fear not being a good daughter.
I don't fear not being a good sister.
I don't fear not being a good wife.
I don't fear not being a good mother.
I don't fear being easily forgotten.
I don't fear not being important.
If I fail to be rich, smart, popular, relevant or what have you because God calls me to take my cross else where. So be it.
I am more afraid in my life right now of wasting 5, 10, 15 years of my life trying to achieve the world's ideal of awesomeness and not pleasing God than I am of being looked down upon by the world.
As Christians we often miss this. Every one of those things I would love to be blessed with. I would love to have money to help others, I'd love to have a great relationship with my parents, friends and brother, I'd love to one day be a great mother and a great wife, I'd love for people to remember me and to be important, but I rather have all of those things because I am so clung to God's shirt, with my ear pressed against His chest that I can hear His calling for me than to flippantly chose that. But as Christians we often think that to be "good" that we need all of those. So we chase them. We chase after the worldly view of Christianity rather than chasing Christ.
So my greatest fear isn't that I won't be much in this world but that I won't be anything in Him.
-Amanda
Meritocracy was never something I was taught. I was never taught to fit in by my parents. I however did a lot of trying to fit in during my middle school and high school years. Sometimes even now I try to fit in with a group of people.
In today's world though being better than meritocracy is measured by money, popularity and achieving the "American dream". It is about having a least a two story home, 2 cars, a dog, a cat and 2.5 children. It is about having a degree to go to work in an office and rise up the corporate ladder. Or in the new generation it is about having so much money that you have no idea what to do with it.
As humans, particularly Americans, we chase this idea of power and being better. We fear the alternative.
I don't want that though.
See after the week I had this past week, I have been so clearly opened to God that my fears are no longer the same.
I don't fear being poor.
I don't fear not having an education.
I don't fear not being a good friend.
I don't fear not being a good daughter.
I don't fear not being a good sister.
I don't fear not being a good wife.
I don't fear not being a good mother.
I don't fear being easily forgotten.
I don't fear not being important.
If I fail to be rich, smart, popular, relevant or what have you because God calls me to take my cross else where. So be it.
I am more afraid in my life right now of wasting 5, 10, 15 years of my life trying to achieve the world's ideal of awesomeness and not pleasing God than I am of being looked down upon by the world.
As Christians we often miss this. Every one of those things I would love to be blessed with. I would love to have money to help others, I'd love to have a great relationship with my parents, friends and brother, I'd love to one day be a great mother and a great wife, I'd love for people to remember me and to be important, but I rather have all of those things because I am so clung to God's shirt, with my ear pressed against His chest that I can hear His calling for me than to flippantly chose that. But as Christians we often think that to be "good" that we need all of those. So we chase them. We chase after the worldly view of Christianity rather than chasing Christ.
So my greatest fear isn't that I won't be much in this world but that I won't be anything in Him.
-Amanda
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Welcome to the Journey: Extraordinary Mission
Wow! I actually surprised myself with actually continuing this series, pat on the back for me! Anyway if you are just tuning in feel free to check out my previous blog about my convictions for modesty, but without further ado let's continue this bad boy!
So for some time now I have had a stirring in my heart. I presume that this feeling is from the Lord but nonetheless that feeling is that of crazy adventure. Being that this year I'll be 20 {Don't have a heart attack mom} I have been searching for what God is calling me to do. Though in my mind I am pretty secure in the calling God has placed upon my life, I feel that there is still many things I need to do before reaching that calling.
1. My actual calling
I figured this is important to actually tell you seeing as how everything that follows derives from it. When I was 15 I had the opportunity to speak in from of a large {Huge} crowd. Check it out here. At the time I wasn't really a Christian and barely even understood {And still don't} the magnitude that experience will have on my life currently and to come. But as I stood there with a trembling body and 25,000 teary eyes staring at me, I realized that I loved it. Now I recognize that God can use my talent of not being afraid to speak in front of total strangers to multiply His kingdom. I hope that my talent can be used to be a speaker at events such as what Christine Caine does or Beth Moore. I also love to write and would love to write books as well. Everything is in God's hands though.
2. Explorations Beyond Seas
Though I don't necessarily see me doing overseas missions for massive periods of time{2+ years}, I do feel like God calls me to do oversea mission trips. I went to one two summers ago and fell in love with the Kenyan people. God really opened my eyes to where he really wanted me to be. For the past month or so my mine has reverted back to something that had been mentioned to me right before my trip. It is an 11 month expedition through 11 countries. I would literally be missing out on a year of college to witness the Glories of God in places like Romania, South Africa and Laos. As I sit here I am almost too excited to type. However, many people will ask why go? Why go all the way across the world to witness to people when there are lost and broken individuals here? This is why:
3. The Need to be Extraordinary
Today as I sat in my small dorm room, killing time by doing the "typical" teen things I rustled with my thoughts on the idea of who I am. See for the last few months I have been being pulled in several directions. On one side I have been pulled towards the idea of not being enough, not being worthy of love, loyalty or trust. I had these ideas that I wasn't a good enough friend, sister, girlfriend or student. On the other side I felt a strong tug by God. A tug that shouted to me verses like Song of Solomon 4:7 "You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you." or Romans 5:8 "But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.", verses to remind me that I am nothing without Christ but everything with Him. Instead of choosing a side though, I fell into complacency and I stayed in the middle. The problem with being in the middle though is I search, I am continually searching for the peace, peace that only comes with be extraordinary. I thought being educated would make me extraordinary. I thought being well rounded would make me extraordinary, or being normal or being sinful or anything but the one thing. Today though I looked down at my hands and realized how extraordinary I am. The fact that I am a living testament for Psalm 139:13 "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.". I heard a quote the other day and I am not sure where it is from but it said something like "This Earth is not my home but while I am here I have a job to do." Christ clearly states this in John 15:16, He said, "You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name." So while I am waiting to go home I have a job to do. I have a job to allow Christ to be extraordinary through me.
4. You is Kind, You is Smart, You is Important
Like I stated in the previous chunk, I have a desire to be extraordinary. God doesn't call us to be normal or to fit in. Even though I am excited to do a World Race, I still have to wait till the end of 2015 or 2016 when I am 21. In the mean time that means I have at least 1 and a half left of school. So what am I suppose to do for the next two years? I just sad I didn't want to be complacent. So as I wait I will listen to God more.
You is Kind: Lately as I have heard attacks about my character, the conviction of whether or not I am kind enough will be a testament to my character. The answer deep down in my heart is that I don't think it is. I often am kind to adults but when I am around others I can be quite snobby. It has caused a stirring in my heart to be nicer to hold my tongue on sarcasm and cruelties. Will I fail at this? Yes but I am not going to stop until I succeed.
You is Smart: If you have asked be how school is in the last month or so you've heard the terms "Ehhh, I learned a lot of life lessons." The truth is my studies really took a back burner this semester which is ridiculous seeing as how I am now paying for the education I am receiving. However I don't want to be just GPA smart, sure GPA gets you noticed in college and in my case keeps you from being kicked out but in the long run nobody is gonna care that you had a 3.99 GPA in college. Most people care more about what you have learned. Though I am not seeking to be extraordinary in my well roundedness, I am seeking to be well rounded still. I don't want to be ignorant of the world around me {A bonus to the world race} I want to experience everything God has to offer me.
You is Important: Four years ago when I stood on that stage, I was the hot dog. I was very much assure of myself and my importance. However after some beatings spiritually and mentally it is harder to see where I am. In the last few months and years even like I explained in prior blogs that my desire to represent Christ in the best manor possible has been replaced with representing those "good Christians". Even after becoming a Christian though my need to be well liked and important amongst humans. I generally fail to realize when I am not important to them, that I am still important to God. In Matthew Christ says, "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.". It is still a hard lesson for me, as for every one else I presume, to not rest my importance solely in those around me and rest it solely on God.
So as these next few months and years even, I ask that you pray for wisdom and guidance in continually seeking the Lord in my decisions.
Amanda
"The moment when you realize that your seemingly ordinary life is actually quite extraordinary is when the magic begins"
So for some time now I have had a stirring in my heart. I presume that this feeling is from the Lord but nonetheless that feeling is that of crazy adventure. Being that this year I'll be 20 {Don't have a heart attack mom} I have been searching for what God is calling me to do. Though in my mind I am pretty secure in the calling God has placed upon my life, I feel that there is still many things I need to do before reaching that calling.
1. My actual calling
I figured this is important to actually tell you seeing as how everything that follows derives from it. When I was 15 I had the opportunity to speak in from of a large {Huge} crowd. Check it out here. At the time I wasn't really a Christian and barely even understood {And still don't} the magnitude that experience will have on my life currently and to come. But as I stood there with a trembling body and 25,000 teary eyes staring at me, I realized that I loved it. Now I recognize that God can use my talent of not being afraid to speak in front of total strangers to multiply His kingdom. I hope that my talent can be used to be a speaker at events such as what Christine Caine does or Beth Moore. I also love to write and would love to write books as well. Everything is in God's hands though.
2. Explorations Beyond Seas
Though I don't necessarily see me doing overseas missions for massive periods of time{2+ years}, I do feel like God calls me to do oversea mission trips. I went to one two summers ago and fell in love with the Kenyan people. God really opened my eyes to where he really wanted me to be. For the past month or so my mine has reverted back to something that had been mentioned to me right before my trip. It is an 11 month expedition through 11 countries. I would literally be missing out on a year of college to witness the Glories of God in places like Romania, South Africa and Laos. As I sit here I am almost too excited to type. However, many people will ask why go? Why go all the way across the world to witness to people when there are lost and broken individuals here? This is why:
Today as I sat in my small dorm room, killing time by doing the "typical" teen things I rustled with my thoughts on the idea of who I am. See for the last few months I have been being pulled in several directions. On one side I have been pulled towards the idea of not being enough, not being worthy of love, loyalty or trust. I had these ideas that I wasn't a good enough friend, sister, girlfriend or student. On the other side I felt a strong tug by God. A tug that shouted to me verses like Song of Solomon 4:7 "You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you." or Romans 5:8 "But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.", verses to remind me that I am nothing without Christ but everything with Him. Instead of choosing a side though, I fell into complacency and I stayed in the middle. The problem with being in the middle though is I search, I am continually searching for the peace, peace that only comes with be extraordinary. I thought being educated would make me extraordinary. I thought being well rounded would make me extraordinary, or being normal or being sinful or anything but the one thing. Today though I looked down at my hands and realized how extraordinary I am. The fact that I am a living testament for Psalm 139:13 "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.". I heard a quote the other day and I am not sure where it is from but it said something like "This Earth is not my home but while I am here I have a job to do." Christ clearly states this in John 15:16, He said, "You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name." So while I am waiting to go home I have a job to do. I have a job to allow Christ to be extraordinary through me.
4. You is Kind, You is Smart, You is Important
Like I stated in the previous chunk, I have a desire to be extraordinary. God doesn't call us to be normal or to fit in. Even though I am excited to do a World Race, I still have to wait till the end of 2015 or 2016 when I am 21. In the mean time that means I have at least 1 and a half left of school. So what am I suppose to do for the next two years? I just sad I didn't want to be complacent. So as I wait I will listen to God more.
You is Kind: Lately as I have heard attacks about my character, the conviction of whether or not I am kind enough will be a testament to my character. The answer deep down in my heart is that I don't think it is. I often am kind to adults but when I am around others I can be quite snobby. It has caused a stirring in my heart to be nicer to hold my tongue on sarcasm and cruelties. Will I fail at this? Yes but I am not going to stop until I succeed.
You is Smart: If you have asked be how school is in the last month or so you've heard the terms "Ehhh, I learned a lot of life lessons." The truth is my studies really took a back burner this semester which is ridiculous seeing as how I am now paying for the education I am receiving. However I don't want to be just GPA smart, sure GPA gets you noticed in college and in my case keeps you from being kicked out but in the long run nobody is gonna care that you had a 3.99 GPA in college. Most people care more about what you have learned. Though I am not seeking to be extraordinary in my well roundedness, I am seeking to be well rounded still. I don't want to be ignorant of the world around me {A bonus to the world race} I want to experience everything God has to offer me.
You is Important: Four years ago when I stood on that stage, I was the hot dog. I was very much assure of myself and my importance. However after some beatings spiritually and mentally it is harder to see where I am. In the last few months and years even like I explained in prior blogs that my desire to represent Christ in the best manor possible has been replaced with representing those "good Christians". Even after becoming a Christian though my need to be well liked and important amongst humans. I generally fail to realize when I am not important to them, that I am still important to God. In Matthew Christ says, "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.". It is still a hard lesson for me, as for every one else I presume, to not rest my importance solely in those around me and rest it solely on God.
So as these next few months and years even, I ask that you pray for wisdom and guidance in continually seeking the Lord in my decisions.
Amanda
"The moment when you realize that your seemingly ordinary life is actually quite extraordinary is when the magic begins"
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
AH! Birthday Boy!
Dear Sawyer,
Dude like what the heck you are 16! I cannot believe that 16 years today I walked into a hospital without a baby and walked out with one, Chelsea that is but you were a cool addition too! I am just kidding you're awesome.
Through our past 16 years we are the true meaning of what siblings look like. We might fight and we might not always get along but at the end of the day I know you're my brother and that you love me. I am constantly in amazement at what God has done in your life especially in the last few years. You are an incredibly raw kid {Ask mom what I mean by that}, but you feel everything in your heart. You are an individual who has learned very early on that he doesn't have to be like everyone else to be awesome. I consider you one of my best friends
As I picture the future with you as my sidekick, it makes me excited. I dream of days of seeing you graduating from bootcamp. I see days of you going off to serve our country. I see days when I will watch you get married and when we will raise our children together.
You are an incredibly young man with a big heart and I am glad that God blessed me with the oppertunity to be your big sister.
Love you and Happy Birthday!
Amanda :)
Dude like what the heck you are 16! I cannot believe that 16 years today I walked into a hospital without a baby and walked out with one, Chelsea that is but you were a cool addition too! I am just kidding you're awesome.
Through our past 16 years we are the true meaning of what siblings look like. We might fight and we might not always get along but at the end of the day I know you're my brother and that you love me. I am constantly in amazement at what God has done in your life especially in the last few years. You are an incredibly raw kid {Ask mom what I mean by that}, but you feel everything in your heart. You are an individual who has learned very early on that he doesn't have to be like everyone else to be awesome. I consider you one of my best friends
As I picture the future with you as my sidekick, it makes me excited. I dream of days of seeing you graduating from bootcamp. I see days of you going off to serve our country. I see days when I will watch you get married and when we will raise our children together.
You are an incredibly young man with a big heart and I am glad that God blessed me with the oppertunity to be your big sister.
Love you and Happy Birthday!
Amanda :)
Monday, February 3, 2014
Welcome to the Journey: Modesty
Hola! And welcome to the Journey, as New Years is still in my rear view mirror, I am still searching for ways to better myself. Along with taking care of my physical appearance, God has really convicted me of taking care of my modest bodest.
As a Christian girl who has been spending her time in the bible belt for a little while now, the idea of modesty is not a new concept for me. Modesty though in its essence is a has been a hard concept for me to grasp. However for awhile now God has really been dealing with my heart on the idea of modesty and purity. See they both goes hand and hand. Can you have one without the other, sure to a degree, but at the same time that line is very thin.
As a girl, I find that often I make excuse for the reason why I wear what I wear. Take for an example leggings and yoga pants. Both are extremely comfortable {I.e my excuse} but the other day while I sat amongst boys and I was the only girl the topic of yoga pants/leggings came up. I listened as very godly men begin to talk lustfully about another woman, a potential sister in Christ, simply because she was wearing leggings. As I dwelt upon it throughout the night I couldn't figure out why it bothered me so much that these boys were talking about leggings that way. They are just pants, what's the big deal? It hit me though circa 12am last night though. The reason it bothered me so was because I don't want to feel like an object nor be judge and chosen based upon my body and especially for the clothes that I wear.
In media today women are told to fight for the right to be heard and taken seriously. Many women condemn men for not taking us seriously but at the same time they go out dress provocatively and wonder why. Men are visual humans. When women wear pants that are literally like a second layer of skin, shirts that show off too much of their chest and shorts that are one inch away from being underwear, men no longer have the idea of wanting you simply because of your mind but for your body now too.
Awhile back a friend of mine sent me this video. As I first started to watch the video I was put back wondering why he was sending it to me. He was a dude and it was about bikinis. Now I'm not one to go out in a bikini mainly because I like food and it shows, but when I was thinner, I did. The video is by a women who created a bathing suit line that was modest and she discusses in the speech that she is given why. Check it out:
Then I didn't understand it but now I realize that this video was God ignite that fire in my heart again to strive to be pure. I don't want to cause my brothers in Christ to stumble by something as simple as the way I dress. I don't want to attract men simply by what I wear. I am so much more than what I wear but sometimes the things we clothe ourselves in distracts us from who we really are. I want to be a woman known more for her being clothed in the armor of Christ rather than barely clothed.
I guess what I am trying to get at, is not to condemn those who wear leggings, yoga pants or bikinis but to simply state this. For me, I imagine the day I will meet the man of my dreams. The man of my dreams looks a lot like Tim Tebow, and he doesn't want me because I strut down the beach in a "itsy bitsy" bikini or spend my days running errands in leggings and an over-sized sweatshirt, he doesn't want me because I wear dresses that are too tight and too short that little is left to the imagination or because when I lean over you can see way too much cleavage. He wants me because I am woman after God's own heart, a woman who is pure and represents Proverbs 31 to the best of her abilities. So as I move forward in 2014, I am going to try to look at my clothing and dress in a manor that is pleasing to God and that shows my dignity rather than my body.
Welcome to the Journey,
Amanda
As a Christian girl who has been spending her time in the bible belt for a little while now, the idea of modesty is not a new concept for me. Modesty though in its essence is a has been a hard concept for me to grasp. However for awhile now God has really been dealing with my heart on the idea of modesty and purity. See they both goes hand and hand. Can you have one without the other, sure to a degree, but at the same time that line is very thin.
As a girl, I find that often I make excuse for the reason why I wear what I wear. Take for an example leggings and yoga pants. Both are extremely comfortable {I.e my excuse} but the other day while I sat amongst boys and I was the only girl the topic of yoga pants/leggings came up. I listened as very godly men begin to talk lustfully about another woman, a potential sister in Christ, simply because she was wearing leggings. As I dwelt upon it throughout the night I couldn't figure out why it bothered me so much that these boys were talking about leggings that way. They are just pants, what's the big deal? It hit me though circa 12am last night though. The reason it bothered me so was because I don't want to feel like an object nor be judge and chosen based upon my body and especially for the clothes that I wear.
In media today women are told to fight for the right to be heard and taken seriously. Many women condemn men for not taking us seriously but at the same time they go out dress provocatively and wonder why. Men are visual humans. When women wear pants that are literally like a second layer of skin, shirts that show off too much of their chest and shorts that are one inch away from being underwear, men no longer have the idea of wanting you simply because of your mind but for your body now too.
Awhile back a friend of mine sent me this video. As I first started to watch the video I was put back wondering why he was sending it to me. He was a dude and it was about bikinis. Now I'm not one to go out in a bikini mainly because I like food and it shows, but when I was thinner, I did. The video is by a women who created a bathing suit line that was modest and she discusses in the speech that she is given why. Check it out:
Then I didn't understand it but now I realize that this video was God ignite that fire in my heart again to strive to be pure. I don't want to cause my brothers in Christ to stumble by something as simple as the way I dress. I don't want to attract men simply by what I wear. I am so much more than what I wear but sometimes the things we clothe ourselves in distracts us from who we really are. I want to be a woman known more for her being clothed in the armor of Christ rather than barely clothed.
I guess what I am trying to get at, is not to condemn those who wear leggings, yoga pants or bikinis but to simply state this. For me, I imagine the day I will meet the man of my dreams. The man of my dreams looks a lot like Tim Tebow, and he doesn't want me because I strut down the beach in a "itsy bitsy" bikini or spend my days running errands in leggings and an over-sized sweatshirt, he doesn't want me because I wear dresses that are too tight and too short that little is left to the imagination or because when I lean over you can see way too much cleavage. He wants me because I am woman after God's own heart, a woman who is pure and represents Proverbs 31 to the best of her abilities. So as I move forward in 2014, I am going to try to look at my clothing and dress in a manor that is pleasing to God and that shows my dignity rather than my body.
Welcome to the Journey,
Amanda
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